Krishnamurti Redux

Let’s take a trip to Ojai, California.

There was a famous Indian teacher who lived in Ojai for the greater part of his long life. Jiddu Krishnamurti was born into an upper caste but struggling family in Southern India. When his dad took a job at the Theosophical Society headquarters in Madras, he was discovered by the occultist Charles Webster Leadbeater. In 1909, Leadbeater, who had just emerged from a scandal where he recommended masturbation to his young students, much to the dismay of his Anglican superiors, spotted Krishna on the Theosophical Society’s beach. Pictures show a very handsome young man, whom his tutors called dimwitted.  Leadbeater claimed extrasensory, clairvoyant abilities, and said Krishna had an extraordinary aura. I can legitimately entertain other inspirations for the homosexual Leadbeater’s psychic insight, and really, it cannot go unsaid. 

This unleashed a series of events that would transform Krishnamurti’s life — Annie Besant and Leadbeater claimed that they had discovered the heralded World Teacher; they took the young man under their wing, even legally adopting him, and carefully indoctrinated him in the doctrines of Theosophy. Eventually, Krishna would rebel against the Order of the Star in the East. This organization had created and encouraged the myths surrounding his role in the Enlightenment of Man and Womankind. Rejecting the role of spiritual teacher, for the rest of his life, he lectured about the ruse of surrendering to the guru. 

Since I first learned about him in the 70s and 80s, Krishnamurti always left an odd, unbalanced taste in my mouth. It was not his argument or his eloquence. On the surface, I could find no fault in that. It was the way people used him. Most of these followers, if pressed, could thread their way to the end of an argument, but It was just too easy to say, in a slightly superior tone, “Read Krishnamurti. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” and walk away. They weren’t blatantly stupid and arrogant. For the most part, they just wanted to have sex with whomever they wanted or eat whatever their tastes dictated, except for the strict vegetarian who ruined his marriage to a lovely Italian woman who couldn’t give up sausages. She told me she tried, but her husband wouldn’t tolerate a mixed-cuisine marriage. (By the time of their divorce, she also had a Green Card.)

It was impossible to convince this anti-authoritarian faction that the statement, “The guru says that you can’t trust the guru,” is an argument from authority that should be rigorously applied equally across all the guru’s statements. When you rely on the guru to tell you that you can’t trust the guru, your decision not to trust the guru still relies on basic trust. The skepticism may have real teeth (and I think it does), but I will insist on other avenues of verification, which of course merits me the label of materialist. 

Why is Krishnamurti so persuasive and appealing? First of all, what is his argument? I just did a thought experiment, not entirely rigorous but still revealing. I picked up Krishna's First and Last Freedom and began to read. After three paragraphs, enough to catch the thread of his argument in its context, I randomly turned ahead some pages, and continued to read from the top of the first paragraph that caught my eye. I was shocked. It made perfect sense. I wasn't jarred by any abrupt shift in the argument; the tone, even the sentences, maintained a conversational flow. 

I might conclude that Krishna used an argument that can be succinctly stated in the three paragraphs, which he repeated and riffed over and over, but that would not do justice to his rigorous self-examination or his eloquence. I went back to First and Last Freedom, and read through the chapters carefully and was moved by the intelligent, even forceful way he invites each of us into his analysis, which included a thorough examination of our belief systems*, our prejudices, our sensory experience, and our past memories. 

He was exhaustively thorough and doggedly insistent. He could be compassionate as well as angry or dismissive without apology. But in my view, the analysis is always kept at arm’s length, or perhaps I have not read him as carefully and thoroughly as I should. He emphasizes repeatedly that our immediate experience must be viewed and evaluated within the context of our relationships, with ourselves, our past, our environment, as well as with our family and friends. He was obviously a man who investigated the prison of his own delusion. Leadbeater and Besant were grooming him for the unique role as avatar for the Coming Age, but he never gets very personal or vulnerable about his own experience. 

It is ironic that the man who preached that the guru is untrustworthy himself became a guru. As much as Krishna might protest, the path to a normal life must have been difficult when he uncovered the sham that his karma had singled him out. I think he actually tried to be normal, but circumstances created a pampered life. To bolster my case that he was nothing more than a real human, he had a long-term lover, the wife of a close associate. Of course, he lied about it, claiming to be celibate — which leads me back to my initial problem with his analysis. “Trust me to tell you not to trust me” is the brick wall you hear in the conversation of an abusive lover.

I haven’t answered my own question about knowing ourselves. I’ve just joined Krishnamurti and pointed out some of the false claims. Knowing that there are limits to what we can know doesn’t invalidate what direct experience teaches us or weaken those experiences. It simply rejects their infallibility. I can be satisfied with my own experience. In the words of Jack Kerouac, “One day I will find the right words, ... then it sounds; you just can't fall when you get into the rhythm of the dance.” 

_____________________

 

*"Belief is the central problem in the analysis of mind. Believing seems the most "mental" thing we do, the thing most remote from what is done by mere matter. The whole intellectual life consists of beliefs, and of the passage from one belief to another by what is called "reasoning." Beliefs give knowledge and error; they are the vehicles of truth and falsehood. Psychology, theory of knowledge and metaphysics revolve about belief, and on the view we take of belief our philosophical outlook largely depends.”

Bertrand Russell, The Analysis of Mind (1921), Lecture. XII: Belief, p. 295

Bob Drinan and I design a future for the Jesuits

Just after I took my first vows as a Jesuit in 1968, Bill Guindon*, the newly appointed Provincial, hired Arthur Anderson, a corporate consulting firm, to work with the entire New England Jesuit community to re-vision the province's works. This period remains quite vivid in its emotional impact, though some of the particulars have faded away. Guindon and his Socius, Paul Lucy, were my direct superiors most of the time I was a Jesuit. 

The team from Arthur Anderson soon learned they would guide a “discernment,” though the word didn't exist in their vocabulary. Of course, they agreed and were even eager to learn, but they also had their requirements for the makeup of our Jesuit teams. We were all included regardless of grade or rank within the Order. I had only taken my vows a few months before, but in the egalitarian mix, I was chosen to work with Bob Drinan, then Dean of the Law School, regarding our political stance regarding the social apostolate. The committee was small, only four of us, perhaps due to a sizeable portion of our New England Jesuit brethren being old-time religion conservatives, even in the wake of Vatican II's closing. 

Working together for those few months was remarkable. Drinan was meticulous, always attending meetings on time, prepared and attentive, and never once pulling rank. I was a Jesuit scholastic, and he was the dean of a law school, but in our meetings, he treated me as his equal. He was an incredible listener and supportive of me, encouraging me to express my opinion and pointing out where it needed to be filled in. I learned so much.

In the end, Bob Drinan, his secretary, and I wrote the proposals and guidelines that would shape the political stance of the New England Jesuits. A year later, I went to work as a community organizer in South Boston, and in 1971, he ran for Congress on an anti-Vietnam War platform. (For which Jon Kerry, working for the campaign, suggested the slogan: “Vote for Father Drinan or Go to Hell!”) 

In 1996 or 97, I read a small piece--it might have been in America or some Buddhist publication--Drinan, already in his 80s, had just completed a Zen sesshin under the direction of Father Robert Kennedy, Roshi. A sesshin makes the discipline of the Spiritual Exercises look tame. Twelve hours of silent meditation a day, usually in seated posture, in 4 blocks about three hours long with short periods of walking meditation, silent meals, a few hours of work practice, and interviews with the teacher. In the article, Bob spent only a few sentences describing how physically demanding it was and paragraphs about the insights and “consolations” he received when Kennedy celebrated daily Mass. I was incredibly moved; he jumped into a demanding spiritual practice with both feet and lived to tell the tale. 

I googled Bob Drinan, found an email address at Georgetown, and wrote to him. I said he probably didn’t remember me, but I filled in some places our paths had crossed and mentioned those few months 40 years ago when we worked together with the organizational consultants from Arthur Anderson. I told him that I had been deeply touched by the telling of his experience during sesshin and the Jesuit angle; I had been practicing Zen for almost 20 years, and I probably closed with some words of gratitude to him and how his path and service had touched me. I pressed send and forgot about it.

About a week later, he replied. It was not a formal, congressman-style “thanks for your concern about the important legislation, etc.”--I suppose that I am not alone in getting lots of those--but a very personal, connected note: Yes, of course, he remembered me; he was head over heels enthusiastic about his experience, encouraged me to keep up with my “Zen studies.” and he thanked me for undertaking it. I did not expect a response, yet he took the time, energy, and consideration to write a former Jesuit he’d known briefly 30 or more years in the past.

Nancy Pelosi was and still is my representative in Congress. For decades, I was very active in San Francisco politics, and at some constituent meeting, I mentioned in conversation that I knew Bob. She quickly volunteered that he was her spiritual director, as he was for most of the Catholic representatives. The next news I had of Bob was when my representative, now Speaker Pelosi, wrote about her sadness at the passing of the “Father of the House.” 

I tried to remember whether or not he had put up much of a fight when Pope John Paul II demanded that Pedro Arrupe order Bob to leave the House of Representatives. I couldn’t imagine that he didn’t go without a few well-thought-out and carefully researched objections, but he did. He was professed and a Jesuit through and through.

He was a hero of mine; he still is. He tried to map a path for a Catholic to participate fully in a pluralistic society even when dogma, or at least a literalistic interpretation of the teaching, sets you at odds with the tolerance a democracy requires. His stance on abortion is a good example. And I fully supported fierce opposition to American interventionism. 

I wish I could figure out how to live a complex life fully. I suppose if I still felt a strong impulse to live a life with vows and promises, that kind of spiritual discipline, and felt that I could do that without compromising or being compromised, I would look to a life like Bob’s or Dorothy Day’s as a great model. 

When I googled Bob about 40 minutes ago to check the date of his death, I found this piece about the file that the FBI kept on him and his efforts to see it. I think it is such a great story and shows how he operated. 

http://goodjesuitbadjesuit.blogspot.com/2009/01/fr-robert-drinan-sj-was-under.html

*Regarding Bill Guindon, his vision and tenure as head of the New England Jesuits were remarkable. He was a visionary, and I was always surprised, even disappointed, that he was not tapped for a wider role.

The Enneagram, the Final Reckoning, Banishment to the Darkness of Ignorance

A Tale of Theft, Appropriation, Accusation, and Lying, Or Enlightenment?

Enneagram Posts:

Why choose to work with the Enneagram?

Connecting G.I. Gurdjieff with Naranjo’s Enneagram

Claudio Naranjo’s first SAT Groups in Berkeley

The Jesuit Transmission of the Enneagram

Helen Palmer and Claudio Naranjo in Berkeley

The Enneagram, the Final Reckoning, Banishment to the Darkness of IgnoranceEnneagram Bibliography

Discovered in a folder dated January 10, 2021, the day that Oscar Ichazo published his “Letter to the Transactional Community.”

 

This is a tale dire enough for spiritual warfare, Light vs Dark, worthy of the most gnostic sectarian cult. Oscar Ichazo was not your run-of-the-mill desert shaman. He might have traveled back to third-century Mesopotamia to enlist the Manichees rather than a 15th-century Sufi sect for his Enneagon. He displayed the fervor of a religious zealot rather than a crafty Murshid in his lawsuit, and today, in his "Letter to the Transpersonal Community." 

Let me recast the story as a Manichean saga. It will still include Metatron, the archangel who is the Almighty’s scribe, as well as the usual cast of warring parties.

The Enneagon sprang forth from Oscar Ichazo, full-blown, a vision of Light. He hiked to the northernmost point of Chile, the Atacama Desert, where he gathered a small group of disciples for the first initiation. One of these disciples, a real doctor and psychotherapist named Claudio Naranjo, stole away with his numbered binder containing a complete outline of the system. Naranjo appropriated it as the Source of his variant system. He called it the Enneagram. Naranjo then gathered his own students in a rival school, which he tried to tie to the teaching of G.I. Gurdjieff. Among Naranjo’s students was a sweet, bright, and remarkably naive Jesuit, Father Bob Ochs, who disseminated this purportedly esoteric information as if it were Jesus on a hot cross bun. Ochs, who had just completed an advanced theology degree in the post-Vatican 2 Institut de Paris, began preaching to a small group of enthusiastic fellow Jesuits who quickly and efficiently established independent schools and study centers. 

When Naranjo heard there were Jesuit cells, he realized he’d been far too lax, but the donkey had already escaped its pen. His “Seekers After Truth” students had signed what in his world was a karmically binding pledge to keep secrets secret, but it was just a photocopy of a generic non-disclosure form, the one Ichazo required of everyone in the Arica —  no need to reinvent the wheel for another sect. But when Naranjo learned that the Jesuits had not pledged to keep their mouths shut forever, or until he gave permission, he cast Ochs into outer darkness. When one of Ochs's Jesuit students did what Jesuits do and published a book, Ichazo got wind of it, and he, too, was angry, but he added teeth of legal action in a US Court.(1) However, O'Leary proved jesuitical. He agreed to state publicly that Oscar Ichazo was the sole originator of the theory of ego fixations and the system of Enneagons, but Ichazo was unable to halt the publication of the book.` On only one point was everyone agreed: no money changed hands between the plaintiff and the defendants.

In the high Andean deserts, the pay scale for shamans is generally not on the high end; witch doctors are a dime a dozen. But forlorn Bolivia sets a particularly low bar. Poor Ichazo convinced himself that his zombie-like seven-day “transformational” experience had accrued some cash value, and his pyrrhic victory over Dimension Books encouraged him to set his sights on the sweet, innocent-looking Rosacrucian lady, along with the deeper pockets of her publisher, Harper and Row. 

One bold action set Transformational Community ablaze with rumors of rainbows and pots of gold. In Kabbalistic heaven, the Archangel Metatron heard useemly rumblings and accusations of theft, lying, misappropriation of the Holy Teaching, or just plain greed. 

Metatron summoned Ichazo, Naranjo, Ochs, Palmer, and O’Leary.. After the appropriate trumpet fanfare and drum roll, the accused fell to the ground in prostration. This was the real deal. There was no escape. When Metaron appeared, Ichazo said, “Holy shit. I thought I was being guided by an abstract (even possibly imaginary) archangel.” Metatron said offhandedly, “Be more careful. I’ve heard that excuse before.” 

Metatron continued: “This mess smells like trafficking in stolen goods, Spiritual Goods, which is a grave matter, but you all lack imagination. Steal-lie-launder-justify; steal-lie-steal-launder-spin-repeat. You, Oscar, suggest that Naranjo spirited away your proprietary notes. Naranjo then gave the contents, which he had annotated and claimed were his property, to Father Ochs. Ochs followed his vocation and went on a preaching spree, giving the system to a few smart and well-trained Jesuits. Then innocent-looking Helen Palmer, trained by the beleaguered Rosacrucians, gathered copious notes (either honestly or by sleight of hand) from various sources, domesticated them, and sold them to a boatload of students. When pressed, Palmer lies with a straight face: ‘I did attend nine sessions of a public enneagram class with no ‘secrecy’ requirement.’ (2) (Ireland has the receipts: Everyone signed the NDA. He participated in the sessions and signed an NDA, despite already having signed one. Catherine Swiniarski testifies that Palmer handed her a signed copy of Naranjo’s NDA agreement. She was the registrar for the event.)

Metatron: “This scenario is absurd. I almost forgot one important but amusing allegation: Naranjo claims that no one owns anything because the whole system was a secret oral teaching from some well-hidden Sufis passed onto an irrasible Armenian-Russian madman called Gurdjieff. Gurdjieff himself told me that he had no idea what anyone was talking about. The whole lot of you don’t know what you’re talking about, but the choir sings ‘That’s the esoteric script. That’s what they’re supposed to say.’

Metatron to Ichazo: “You sued Jesuits? What were you thinking? Suing Jesuits is one thing, but suing them for trying to help others is an entirely different matter. And you accuse them of furthering parochial theological goals. Oh, Ichazo, from you, this is rich, truly rich.

“You, Oscar, claim that you didn’t make any money. Accounting is one of my things: no one made any money, except the lawyers. There was only one amicus brief filed in this matter, from a group called ‘The Big Mind Association of Trial Lawyers.’ Lovely high-sounding name, almost Buddhist. Can I chuckle? I hear a lot from Canon Lawyers (3) and the Sharia Courts, so I thought this might be a welcome change of pace, but, alas, in the end, sectarian lawyers are lawyers. Sex workers may be the oldest profession on earth, but in the religious world, the first ecumenical profession is the Law. I heard from no one else, Oscar Ichazo — not even your gypsy auntie, who gets paid for reading cards. She doesn’t think you deserve a single peso. 

“I want to ask the obvious question: ‘Are you so sure that you’ve interpreted this nine-pointed figure correctly, or fully? How did you arrive at this conclusion with any certainty?’ But before I do, I want to point out your arrogance and cruelty. 

“You, Oscar, suggest that Helen Palmer casts herself as a martyr, and not just an ordinary run-of-the-mill blasphemer. Instead, this sweet Godmother of the Enneagram is right up there with Savonarola, the fire and brimstone preacher who was burned at the stake for his attempt to end the Renaissance in Florence. Only in your mind is Palmer a fundamentalist. It’s you who have assumed the role of Grand Inquisitor and introduced this spectacle of religious barbarism. There is no hint, no innuendo of fanaticism in her writing. You say that she has every right on earth to say what she wants, but I don’t believe you.”

The Archangel considers filing a Charge Sheet against Ichazo.

Metatron: “You, Oscar, did a lot of suing. Maybe I, Metatron, should sue you, Oscar, in the Divine Court for allowing the Sacred Enneagram to be reduced to the level of the Daily Horoscope on the back page of a cheap tabloid. 

“You might ask what real damage I have actually done? Even from the position of an archangel, it’s challenging to ascertain evidence of harm in the marketplace of spiritual practice: How many people actually undertook the difficult work of self-analysis and introspection compared with how many were dissuaded? How many were misled or wasted time chasing a chimera or a rumor? Hard numbers in the world of the transcendent have always been a difficult matter, but if we measure the level of distraction by the number of words and titles that come up with a Google search for ‘the real origins of the Enneagram,’ the answer would be ‘considerable confusion.’ 

“In another time and place, your arrogance and cruelty would have tasted the flames. If you were trying to be funny, the Love and Light crowd is a dreary lot and wouldn’t get the “The Lady’s Not for Burning” joke. If your 41 pages of tightly argued documentation indicate that you are serious, your reference to one of the most barbaric periods of Western religious history forfeits any claim to teach anyone. In the end, Oscar Ichazo, you could just be a stark raving maniac, but I will have to search for another remedy. We just don’t do burning for heresy anymore.

“I have to ask myself if there is a way through this bickering among Aricans, Palmerites, Naranjo enthusiasts, and other “created from nothing” schools? If we allow ourselves just to hurl insults and dogmatic threats, we’ll stay stuck forever. 

“Let me suggest a kind of Enneagram anthropology, one that comes from the lived experience of using the system and discovering its inner logic. I propose several simple steps. Firstly, speak simply.

“The courts did a reasonably good job given the limitations of the materials they were allowed to consider. By defining terms and language that could be “uncopyrightable,”  the court declared that, you, Oscar, could not copyright sloth, lying, and cowardice (4), although I suppose that Scientology’s “engram” and “bank” might be as well as Mr. Gurdjieff’s gibberish: "Aieioiuoa," "Kerkoolnonarnian," "Sekronoolanzaknian," and “Kundabuffer.” 

“Spiritual concepts, at least in the introductory stages, should be expressed in language as simple as possible. Even if and when language disappears, as most mysticism indicates, the benevolent guardians of the Universe have allowed for some language, like baby talk, to point us in the right direction. If writing and testing, rather than automatic writing or divine pronouncements, might begin to lay out a path, we've made a decent start.

“Oscar, you say that the only reason that you attempted to copyright the Arica material was ‘because the psychologists and religious people publish their work, using Arica descriptions mainly of the fixations without appropriate acknowledgment of what is Arica's and what is their own input - as a linear therapy in the case of the psychologists or as a way to Christian redemption by the group of priests and nuns.’ (5) I do not recall that anyone elected you Pope.

“Secondly. Stop lying and hiding behind some outrageous ‘Histoire de Jour:’ 

“Ms Plamer, asserting that you did not sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement with Narajo, probably saved you from paying a penalty to Ichazo that he claims he wasn’t seeking, but it is a lie. You are both lying. On the other hand, Naranjo never admitted that he didn’t return Ichazo’s numbered workbook for the initial Arica Training, and oddly, Ochazo never mentions it. It only became a cause célèbre when Beesing, Nogosek, and O'Leary published their work, and Palmer began her rewrite. 

“I have a difficult time assigning blame, but there’s more than enough blame to go around. All of you, Ichazo, Naranjo, Ochs, and Palmer, share some of it. It would take a full team of lawyers to sort this out, which would be expensive (and probably beyond the statute of limitations), but really, questions about who said what when, and whether or not you signed a mimeographed DNA that was filed and forgotten, don’t matter that much.

“Thirdly, aim for compassion and steer clear of retribution. In this new pan-creedal world, I shy away from any sectarian slant, but I will still repeat the words of Jesus. He is very clear: 

‘You have heard that it was said, Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." (Matthew 5:38-42, New International Version). Cooperation and working together might help you overcome base instincts.

If the practice of using the Ennegram for introspection survives, it will be in the hands of the people who do the hard work and talk openly about the results, the same kind of people who have been struggling with the nine-pointed figure for nearly six decades since it captured the imagination of a small segment of modern mystics. In the big picture, it is in its infancy.

Fourthly: Quit the cult. Put me out of a job.

Notes:

1 Beesing, Maria, Robert Nogosek, and Patrick O'Leary. The Enneagram: A Journey of Self-Discovery. Denville, N.J.: Dimension Bks, 1984.

2 Helen Palmer, quoted in “Special Forum: The Enneagram in Contention,” Gnosis, No. 42 (Winter 1997), p. 13. 

3 Almost 25 years ago, (10/23/2001), in a pastoral letter warning Catholics about using the Enneagram as a tool for spiritual direction, the U.S. Catholic bishops' Secretariat for Doctrine and Pastoral Practices, stated that "sin is indeed unhealthy behavior and can be combated by an improved understanding, but it is at its root a moral problem, so that repentance before God and one’s neighbor must be the fundamental response. Enneagram teaching thus obscures the Christian understanding of sin."

4 Arica Institute, Inc. v. Palmer, U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York - 770 F. Supp. 188 (S.D.N.Y. 1991). August 5, 1991. “The Court in its prior opinion found numerous aspects of plaintiff's works uncopyrightable: Ichazo's system of nine ego fixations, the sequence or arrangement of the ego fixations within that system, individual words describing the traits of each ego fixation and the one- and two-word labels for points on the various enneagrams from which the system of ego fixations is derived. Any similarity between Ichazo's works and The Enneagram based on these non-copyrightable elements does not constitute copyright infringement.”

5 Oscar Ichazo, Letter to the Transpersonal Community, Page 27.

A Poached Egg Koan

Originally posted a while ago.

In memory of Blue Bell. You, kitty, were a joy.

On the joys of looking for a slotted spoon in a really well-equipped kitchen.

One morning, I got up in an empty house where I had been charged with looking after a very smart cat, and decided to poach two eggs. Simple.



Of course, everyone knows that you need a slotted spoon to achieve the pinnacle of poached eggs, slots or holes spaced just right to release the water and save all the luscious strands of lightly cooked egg white.

So I began my search....

Everything is perfectly ordered. All the pot holders are clean and neatly arranged by size and usage. Ah, I hadn’t found the right drawer.

Then I looked again in three drawers where I’d looked for a coffee filter that I didn’t find. And didn’t need

Then I discovered sauce pans sorted by size and use, but got distracted by the perfect action of the high-end closing slides--they completed the shutting motion so smoothly and silently that I suspected black magic. But it was more likely that they represented a long process of industrial design, lots of trial and error, lots of user feedback, and many hours exploring the physics of metal-to-metal resistance smoothed by precise bearings.

Then too many choices, 14 wooden spoons mixed in with plastic spatulas, but alas, none with slots. Another drawer! Ah pay dirt! A drawer just for spoons, so many choices! A spoon for every occasion. What could go wrong? But perhaps it was just that my eyesight has dimmed and I could not distinguish any slots in the lot.

But the boiling water had almost finished its job. I had to act now. So I grabbed a metal spoon and just drained the water out by tipping it against the side of the pan. Some salt and pepper. Perfect.

Yesterday I was trying to explain to a Tibetan monk why I loved koan practice. An impossible task. Capturing words to describe the experience is as easy as making arrows collide in midair or describing the first time feeling sand slip through your fingers, though you’ve felt it a million times!

But it could be just the fun of searching through a well-stocked kitchen and finally tasting a well-cooked poached egg.