Ignatian Bibliography

Books, Websites, and Resources for the Spiritual Exercises; compiled by Morgan Zo-Callahan and Ken Ireland

The titles we have not read ourselves were found in the bibliographies in work by an author whom we have read and admired. The books and articles are arranged alphabetically by the author’s last name with two exceptions: 1) translations of Ignatius’s own work, the Spiritual Exercises or his autobiography, are listed under “St. Ignatius,” and the translator or editor’s name has been placed after the title; 2) strictly biographical work contains his name as the first words of the title. We placed these titles first so that all these books would be grouped together.

Ambruzzi, Aloysius & Lepicier, Cardinal Alexis-Henri-Marie, Companion to the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius. Kessinger Publishing, LLC, 2003

Amis, Robin, A Different Christianity: Early Christian Esotericism and Modern Thought (S U N Y Series in Western Esoteric Traditions). State University of New York Press, 1995

Aschenbrenner, George A., Stretched for Greater Glory: What to Expect from the Spiritual Exercises. Loyola Press, 2004

Barry, William A., A Friendship Like No Other: Experiencing God's Amazing Embrace. Loyola Press, 2008

Barry, William A., Finding God In All Things: A Companion To The Spiritual Exercises Of St. Ignatius. Notre Dame, IL, Ave Maria Press. 1991

Barry, William A., God and You: Prayer As a Personal Relationship. Paulist Press, 1987

Barry, William A., Letting God Come Close: An Approach to the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. Loyola Press, 2001

Barry, William A., The Practice of Spiritual Direction. Harper & Row, 1986

Becker, Kenneth L., Unlikely Companions: C. G. Jung on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. Gracewing, 2002

Boisvert, Donald L., Sanctity And Male Desire: A Gay Reading Of Saints. Pilgrim Press, 2004

Borg, Marcus J., and N.T.Wright, The Meaning of Jesus: Two Visions. San Francisco, Harper's, 1999

Brackley, Dean, The Call to Discernment in Troubled Times: New Perspectives on the Transformative Wisdom of Ignatius. The Crossroad Publishing Company, 2004

Buechner, Frederich, Listening to Your Life: Daily Meditation with Frederich Buechner. Compiled by George Connor, San Francisco, HarperSanFrancisco, 1992

Chilton, Bruce; Neusner, Jacob, The Brother of Jesus: James the Just and His Mission. Westminster John Knox Press, 1 edition, 2001

Chilton, Bruce, Mary Magdalene: A Biography, Doubleday, 2005

Classics), 2003

Coelho, Paulo, The Pilgrimage: A Contemporary Quest for Ancient Wisdom. HarperOne, 1995

Coles, Robert; Herbert, C. M., nar., Dorothy Day: A Radical Devotion, Library Edition. Blackstone Audiobooks; Unabridged edition, 2000

Cowan, Marian and Futrell, John, The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola: a handbook for direction. Denver, Ministry Training Services, 1981

English, John, Spiritual Freedom. Guelph, Loyola House, 1982

Fleming, David L., (ed.), “Notes on the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola”. St Louis, Review for Religious, 1981

Cusson, Gilles, Biblical Theology and the Spiritual Exercises, Mary Angela Roduit and George E. Ganss, trans. St Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1988

Cusson, Gilles, Pédagogie de l'expérience spirituelle personnelle: Bible et Exercices spirituels (Broché). Bellarmin, Édition: 3e triage, 1986 (this, the original Cusson book that Roduit and Ganss translated, is out of print).

Cusson, Gilles, The Spiritual Exercises Made in Everyday Life: A Method and a Biblical Interpretation. Mary Angela Roduit and George E. Ganss, trans. St Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1989. This is an authorized translation of Cusson's Conduis-mois sur le chemin d'éternité.

de Guibert, Joseph, The Jesuits: their spiritual doctrine and practice. ET. St. Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1972

de Montoya, Antonio Ruis, The Spiritual Conquest. Trans., McNaspy, C.J.,

St. Louis: Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1993

Donohue, John W., S.J., Jesuit Education. New York: Fordham, 1963

Dozier, Verna J., The Dream of God: A Call to Return. Seabury Classics, 2006

Dyckman, Katherine, et al. The Spiritual Exercises Reclaimed: Uncovering Liberating Possibilities for Women. Paulist Press, 2001

Eckhart, Wandering Joy: Meister Eckhart's Mystical Philosophy. Schurmann, Reiner, trans., Lindisfarne Books, 2001

Empereur, James L., Spiritual Direction and the Gay Person. Continuum International Publishing Group; 1 edition, 1998

Endean, Philip, "Who do you say Ignatius is? Jesuit fundamentalism and beyond", Studies in the Spirituality of Jesuits 19, 5. Nov. 1987

Fleming, David L., Modern Spiritual Exercises. New York: Doubleday, 1982

Fülöp-Miller, René, The Power and the Secret of the Jesuits. New York: Viking, 1930

Gallagher, Timothy M., Discernment of Spirits: The Ignatian Guide for Everyday Living. The Crossroad Publishing Company, 2005

Green, Joel B. The Theology of the Gospel of Luke (New Testament Theology). Cambridge University Press, 1995

Green, Thomas H., S.J., Weeds Among the Wheat Discernment: Where Prayer and Action Meet. Ave Maria Press, Inc., 1984

Green, Thomas H., S.J., When the Well Runs Dry - Prayer Beyond Beginnings. Ave Maria Press, Inc.; Revised edition, 1979

Habito, Ruben L.F. (2004) Living Zen, Loving God. Wisdom Publications.

Haight, Roger, "Foundational issues in Jesuit spirituality", Studies in the Spirituality of Jesuits 19, 4.September 1987

Hebblethwaite, Margaret, Finding God in All Things. London, Collins, 1987

Himes, Michael J., Finding God In All Things: Essays in Honor of Michael J. Buckley. S.J. Herder & Herder, 1996

Holloway, J. B., “Godfriends: The Continental Medieval Mystics”. http://www.umilta.net/godfrien.html. 1997

Holloway, J. B., The Westminster Cathedral/Abbey Manuscript of Julian of Norwich's Showing of Love. http://www.umilta.net/westmins.html. 1996

Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, his life and work, Candido de Dalmases. ET. St Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1985

Ignatius of Loyola, Karl Rahner, and Paul Imhof. ET. London, Collins, 1979

Ignatius of Loyola and the Founding of the Society of Jesus, Andre Ravier. ET. San Francisco, Ignatius Press, 1987

Ignatius of Loyola, Philip Caraman. London, Collins, 1990

Ivens, Michael, Understanding the Spiritual Exercises. Gracewing, 2000

Johnston, William, Christian Zen. San Francisco, Harper & Row, 1979

Jordan, Merle, Reclaiming your story. Westminster John Knox Press, 1999

Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love. Grand Rapids, Christian Classics Ethereal Library. 2002

Keating, Thomas, Active Meditations for Contemplative Prayer. Continuum, 1997

Kung, Hans, My Struggle for Freedom: Memoirs. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2003

Lonergan, Bernard, The Dynamism of Desire, Bernard J F. Lonergan, SJ on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. The Institute of Jesuit Sources in St. Louis, 2006.

Lonsdale, David, Dance to the Music of the Spirit. Darton, Longman & Todd Lt, 1992

Lonsdale, David, Eyes to See, Ears to Hear: An Introduction to Ignatian Spirituality (Traditions of Christian Spirituality). Orbis Books; Revised edition, 2000

Lonsdale, David, Listening to the Music of the Spirit: The Art of Discernment. Ave Maria Press, 1993

Louth, Andrew, The Origins of the Christian Mystical Tradition: From Plato to Denys. Oxford University Press, USA; 2 edition, 2007

Lowney, Chris, Heroic Leadership: Best Practices from a 450-Year-Old Company That Changed the World. Loyola Press, 2005

Lucas, Thomas, S.J. Ignatius, Rome and Jesuit Urbanism. Vatican, Biblioteca Apostolica, 1990

Meissner, William W., S.J., Ignatius of Loyola, The Psychology of a Saint. Yale, 1992

Merton, Thomas, Contemplation in a World of Action. Garden City, N.Y., Image Books, 1973

Michael, Chester P. and Norrisey, Marie C., Prayer and Temperament: Different Prayer Forms for Different Personality Types. Charlottesville, Virginia. The Open Door, 1991

Modras, Ronald, Ignatian Humanism: A Dynamic Spirituality for the 21st Century. Jesuit Way Loyola Press, 2004

Modras, Ronald, “The Spiritual Humanism of the Jesuits.” America, 1995, 172, (3)

Muldoon, Tim, The Ignatian Workout: Daily Spiritual Exercises for a Healthy Faith. Loyola University Press, 2004

Needleman, Jacob, Lost Christianity. Tarcher, 2003

Neusner, Jacob, First century Judaism in crisis: Yohanan ben Zakkai and the renaissance of Torah. Abingdon Press, 1975

O'Malley, John W. S.J. The First Jesuits. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1993

Peters, William A.M., The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius: exposition and interpretation. Rome, Centrum Ignatianum Spiritualitatis, 1978

Rahner, Hugo, Ignatius' Letters to Women. New York: Herder & Herder, 1960

Scroggs, Robin et al., Putting Body & Soul Together: Essays in Honor of Robin Scroggs. Trinity Press International, 1997

Segundo, Juan Luis, The Christ of the Ignatian Exercises. ET. London, Sheed & Ward, 1988

Sheldrake, Philip (ed.), The Way of Ignatius Loyola: Contemporary Approaches to The Spiritual Exercises. St. Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1991

Silf, Margaret, Inner Compass: An Invitation to Ignatian Spirituality. Loyola Press; Rev Sub edition, 1999

Skehan, James W., Place Me With Your Son: Ignatian Spirituality in Everyday Life: The Spiritual Exercises Arranged As a 24-Week Retreat in 4 Phases. Georgetown University Press; 3 Sub edition, 1991

Smith, Carol Ann; Merz, Eugene F., Moment by Moment: A Retreat in Everyday Life. Ave Maria Press, 2000

Spence, Jonathan D., The Memory Palace of Matteo Ricci. Penguin (Non-Classics), 1985

St. Ignatius of Loyola, George E. Ganss, Ignatius of Loyola: The Spiritual Exercises and Selected Works (Classics of Western Spirituality). Paulist Press, 1991

St. Ignatius of Loyola, The Spiritual Exercises and Selected Works. George E. Ganss, ed. New York, Paulist Press, 1991

St. Ignatius, Iñigo: original testament. William Yeomans, trans. London, Inigo Enterprises, 1985

St. Ignatius, St Ignatius' Own Story. William J. Young, trans. Chicago, Loyola University Press, 1980

St. Ignatius, Spiritual Exercises and Selected Works. Malatesta, Edward J., S.J.; Divarkar, Parmananda, S.J., ed., N.Y., Paulist Press, 1991.

[Note about this work by Morgan: This book was difficult to locate. Catholic Library was able to supply information about the publisher. I met Edward Malatesta in 1965, and remember him fondly as a wonderful scholar with enthusiastic energy. He worked with my mentor, Fr. Francis Rouleau. Edward would later take Francis' work to the Matteo Ricci Institute at USF, one of the largest collections of books in Chinese in North America. Edward died in 1998 in his beloved China.]

St. Ignatius, The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. John F. Thornton, ed., Avery Dulles, preface, Louis J. Puhl, trans., Vintage; 1 edition, 2000

St. Ignatius, The Spiritual Exercises. Louis J. Puhl, trans., Chicago, Loyola University Press, 1950

St. Ignatius, The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius: a literal translation a contemporary reading. David L. Fleming, trans. St Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1979

Stanley, David M., S.J., A Modern Scriptural Approach to the Spiritual Exercises. St. Loius, The Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1971

Taylor, Charles, The Ethics of Authenticity. Harvard University Press; 1 edition, 1992

Tetlow, Joseph A., Choosing Christ in the World: Directing the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius Loyola According to Annotations Eighteen and Nineteen: A Handbook. The Institute of Jesuit Sources; 2nd edition, 2000

Tetlow, Joseph A., Ignatius Loyola: Spiritual Exercises (Crossroad Spiritual Legacy Series). The Crossroad Publishing Company, 1992

Tetlow, Joseph, S.J., “The Lay Ministry of the Spiritual Exercises.” National Jesuit News, 1994, 24, (3)

Tickle, Phyllis, The Night Offices: Prayers for the Hours from Sunset to Sunrise. Oxford University Press, USA, 2006

Toner, Jules J., A Commentary on St Ignatius' Rules for the Discernment of Spirits. St. Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1981

Toner, Jules J., Discerning God's Will: Ignatius of Loyola's Teaching on Christian Decision Making. St. Louis, Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1991

Van Beeck, Frans Jozef, Christ Proclaimed: Christology As Rhetoric (Theological Inquiries). Paulist Press, 1979

Veltri, John, Orientations, volumes 1 & 2. Guelph, Loyola House, 1979 & 1981

Walsh, R., Friends of God. The Catholic Encyclopedia, online Edition. K. Knight. 6. 1909

Ward, Keith, Pascal's Fire: Scientific Faith and Religious Understanding. Oneworld Publications, 2006

Wills, Gary, Chesterton. Image: Revised edition, 2001

Wolff, Pierre, Discernment: The Art of Choosing Well: Based on Ignatian Spirituality. Liguori Publications, revised ed., 2003

Online resources for the Spiritual Exercises

There are several English-language sites dedicated to Ignatius’s Exercises, set up and maintained by American Jesuits or Jesuit Universities. While the usual bibliography is not aimed at critique, and certainly when aimed at spirituality, it might even be frowned on, we want to encourage full use of the interactive capabilities of the net. Retreats are full of participation and exchange. We would like to encourage people who create sites to fully realize the potential of the net.

Although there will inevitably be duplication and overlap, a site devoted to retreat work has to provide some background without requiring users to click all over the internet to get oriented. But we wonder why, in the nearly instantaneous online world, every site feels compelled to cover the same ground, slowly and ponderously. It is a waste of resources. There are, however, a few very good sites with wonderful innovations and initiatives. We will highlight those.

This information is current as of the end of 2008. We expect more online resources and hope to keep our information up to date. We have also only considered sites that are US-based. As sites become more interactive and less advertisements for local retreat services, we intend to include them.

The sites:

The full text of Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius, the translation of the Autograph of the Exercises prepared by Fr. Elder Mullan, S.J., is available in PDF format at the website of the Jesuit Conference of the United States. Knowing what Ignatius thought and how he informed the Jesuits who directed the Exercises is pretty basic. This site is just the translation, not interpretation or commentary, with no search capability.

The website of the Conference also includes a page listing the contact information for all their retreat houses and “retreat opportunities” in the US.

The website of the Creighton University Online Ministries has been highly recommended by many people. We also like the format and the functionality. The heart of this work is an innovative 34-week retreat, an adaptation of the format that Ignatius counseled. The creators call it a “retreat for everyday life.” There is an interactive function on the site. You can make your retreat with or without a director. You also have the option of joining a group that is doing a retreat at the same time, and can share your experiences as a kind of peer direction. Of all the online presentations, Creighton University had by far the most real-time human support.

Loyola Marymount, Los Angeles. The California Jesuits offer the Exercises to individuals/small groups to make the Exercises, “with an emphasis on adapting to the individual retreatant.” Morgan did a 19th Annotation Retreat here, which he writes about here in “Inclined Toward Love: Notes while doing the Spiritual Exercises.” The website promotes that retreat work.

We would like to point to an innovation of the Institute for Ignatian Spirituality that is outlined with some very clear instructions: An Awareness Examination of Conscience.

Ignatius’s examen seems to emphasize the gap between humankind and God and our failure to respond to God’s love. Thus, you look back over the recent part of your day to check on the number of times a fault that you are guarding against occurred in thought or deed. The Awareness Examination asks that you pay attention to “feelings, moods, thoughts, desires to get a sense of what is going on in one's life; praying for healing and forgiveness,” and that, as you end your period of reflection, you consider “the immediate future and paying attention to the feelings that spontaneously arise."

The Jesuit Collaborative. The Jesuit provinces of the Northeast have initiated “a professional association of Jesuits, laypersons, clergy, and religious who share in common the spiritual tradition of St. Ignatius” to carry on and promote the work of the Exercises. Though not a site with much information about the Exercises themselves, it appears to be a portal for information about a broad range of opportunities.

Trapped by Life

“You can get as angry as you like, but you can’t do anything about what you can’t do anything about.” —Haruki Murakami

Of course, we get trapped by life. That is our situation. What do I mean by “trapped by life”? It's actually quite simple: there are circumstances or conditions we cannot change, no matter what we do or how we feel about them, and, despite how we craft our most authentic response, it still seems inadequate. The world is not perfect despite our best intentions. Besides prayer, what’s our next authentic move? 

I protest that I no longer call myself Roman Catholic; I say that I’ve cast my vote with my feet and walked out the door. Yet I still follow the inner political and theological turmoil and clerical machinations in hopes that it might reflect a force that can help tilt the course of events towards a more equitable, fair, and just course in human affairs. So I could still call myself Catholic. Many in my situation do. Opinions are just opinions. I honor the Teaching of Jesus as a true gift from God, although I don’t fully subscribe to the official ecclesiastic version. I do not fully participate in the life of the church because of how I have chosen to live; I do not feel it’s appropriate for me to participate in rituals or conversations where I would have to fudge the accepted or prescribed guidelines. That would be disingenuous and arrogant.

This outsider position has, over time, changed me and my perception. Where we stand matters. The Jesuit Pope Francis chose to live in a rooming house for bishops and priests. That sparked a revolt among some of the righteous, who also believed that his positions, teachings, and guidance were heretical and should be contested, ignored, or invalidated. Leo is following this M.O. by shifting from Francis’s modest rooms back to the fabulous, regal Papal apartments. Francis's critics hail this as a repudiation of his revolutionary papacy.   Cardinal Dolan has been removed—the left asserts “evicted”—from his high and mighty address on Fifth Avenue, but if I think that an address gives me permission to dismiss the filth that he spewed about Donald Trump and Charlie Kirk, I’m just deluded. The doormen of Fifth Avenue buildings have an equal voice about the course of human events, if not more than old Fattso with the red hat. They know who’s fucking who but keep their mouths shut.  

Let me confess some of my sins: I watch YouTube for an inordinate amount of time. I’ve watched Leo survey his new digs, take a day at Castel Gandolfo, or convene the Vatican Cardinals. They all wear nearly identical antiquated costumes, and, with the exception of one rather elegant woman religious, the titular head of Vatican City, are all men, ranging from older to ancient, mostly of European descent. They run the show, set the rules, and spend the money. From my perspective, it doesn’t matter how squeaky clean any Francis or Leo makes this kind of government; I would have to believe in the oracle of Delphi to trust this exclusive male coterie to offer real guidance in our topsy-turvy world. I do not. They’ve squandered whatever spiritual inheritance that was handed down through two millennia. 

Once upon a time, I believed what these men said, but then I felt that grew up and realized, “Self, you were not born yesterday. Open your eyes. This is not the world as it is, or even pretends to be. These men certainly do not represent you.” Here is a very important distinction: it’s not just individual men. These particular men have an outsized influence on the moral behavior of billions. Only men have the final say. That’s just patriarchy, nothing holy or infallible. 

But I find myself in a quandary. I am still looking for leadership and guidance about the appropriate action that I can take to help make things a bit better. I know that love is expressed in action, not words. Do I look towards “La Raza” or L’Arche? Both organizations seem to be founded on solid principles and deserve support. Without question, I say, “Yes!” But then I discover, as the world discovers, that Cesar Chavez used his power and position to lock the door of his private office to have sex with very young girls, and that Jean Vanier engaged in “. . . relationships involv[ing] various kinds of sexual behaviour often combined with so-called ‘mystical and spiritual’ justifications for this conduct.… the alleged victims felt deprived of their free will, and so the sexual activity was coerced or took place under coercive conditions ….” (from the final report of the Inquiry). Have I been betrayed? That’s how it feels.

The sex abuse by clergy was, and continues to be, horrific. I have a lot of conflicting thoughts about the predicament. Can I legitimately withdraw my support for these very human leaders who are not saints while still supporting the organization's aims? Certainly, their conduct has harmed the effectiveness and success of the organizations. Do I keep my mouth shut? Or do I interpret the words attributed to Jesus in John 8 when the Pharisees bring a woman caught in adultery, "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone," to mean that I should not condemn either Chavez or Vanier?

I can both support the projects and condemn the leaders, and do so in a way that holds up. I recall talking to Avery Dulles several times about the abuse scandals after he was named a cardinal. He found the whole situation to be incredibly embarrassing; those were his words. He just couldn't, on some level, believe that priests or religious were behaving so badly. He also attended the American Catholic Bishops’ meetings, and it was understood that he carried John Paul 2's message to the bishops. He was not a bishop, but was listened to. The Pope trusted Avery, and he talked with men on the Pope’s staff before the meetings. (I was a bit shocked, but that is what he told me). He himself was also both ideologically and politically conservative enough to gain a hearing with that group.  

I just went back to some of my notes about the conversations we had regarding the situation. This is from something I wrote back in 2001 or so. “He said that his first response was profound embarrassment—men with whom we shared the ideals of Ignatius took advantage of their position as priests to prey on teenage boys and young adults. But then he hesitated. He said that the word embarrassed is not exactly right—he said ‘profoundly disappointed’ might be closer. He was embarrassed for the institutional church he loved and supported and, like me, was personally disappointed in the men with whom he thought he shared an altruistic spirit. In retrospect, I think that ‘disappointed’ is still a euphemism. I think he felt betrayed.” 

Avery, however, did not bury or hide from what he called a “disappointment.” I know he worked quietly with the superiors of the old New York Province as they talked with Father John McNeil before he was dismissed. Although McNeil was never accused of sexual misconduct, he was openly gay just after Stonewall, and the official position was that he was “intrinsically disordered.” Avery was insistent that every priest accused of sexual abuse get a fair hearing and be given a chance to defend himself. He and I talked about this at length. He was well aware that it was the kind of emotional situation in which people make snap judgments and act impulsively. 

Here is a link to another piece I wrote about the sex abuse scandals and the Jesuits, “Don't Ask, Don't Tell—A Jesuit Strategy” (https://jesuskoan.blogspot.com/2019/10/dont-ask-dont-tell.html).

However, I’ve said nothing that addresses Jesus’s admonition, “let the person without sin cast the first stone.” Is it possible to feel and express revulsion about sexual exploitation, standing in the shadow of my own sexual behavior? Of course. I remember Michelangelo Signorile at Saint Peter’s Lutheran Church in 1988, shouting at Cardinal Ratzinger when he outlined the Catholic response to HIV/AIDS, “He is no man of God. He is the devil!” Signorile said it was a spontaneous act, perhaps a reaction, “thinking about the homophobia he'd experienced as a child and the Catholic Church's decrees.” There are many sayings of Jesus where he calls out hypocrisy. As a matter of fact, that is the clear subtext of the “Cast the first stone” story: he is addressing the Pharisees, a favorite target of his anti-establishment sentiment. This was also the beginning of Signorile’s controversial “outing”: publicly identifying and shaming prominent closeted gay men and women who actively suppress gay rights. He kicked off right at the top by calling out a Pope who loved his red pumps. 

I defend myself by pointing out my attitude towards the misconduct of so many Zen teachers during the birth pangs of Buddhism in the West. The situation is not that much different than that of Chavez or Vanier if I were just weighing the consequences of calling out sexual abuse. Many people have made the argument that several highly publicized sex scandals have damaged the growth of Buddhism in the West by discouraging people of goodwill from practicing. Zen, however, was made for sinners, not saints—though the same could be said of most churches that cater to humans and not angels.

The Church has a dark record of dealing with known sinners, heretics, or enemies. But when we get to admirable men and women with skeletons in the closet, the record is mixed. Among possible solutions are denial, creating stories, or dividing our lives into distinct zones that barely touch and certainly don’t acknowledge the presence of the dark side except by disdain, avoidance, or condemnation—the gnostic world of Light and Darkness. How will the Church today, and I think more importantly, huge numbers of believers reconcile themselves to the sins of their fathers?  

The case of Saint Josemaría Escrivá de Balaguer y Albás intrigues me. He founded Opus Dei, which has recently come under investigation for sexual exploitation and abuse as well as financial crimes. (investigative journalist Gareth Gore, Opus: The Cult of Dark Money, Human Trafficking and Right-Wing Conspiracy inside the Catholic Church). He was canonized on October 6, 2002. Both John Paul 2 and Benedict promoted his cause. He was their kind of saint, producing a steady stream of right-thinking conservative clergy ready to undertake the rigors of celibate life. How could he have been unaware of the inner workings of his tightly controlled institute? I cannot say with absolute certainty that he directed every detail of the lives of members of the large worldwide organization, but I bet he knew and approved of most of them. Pope Leo recently invited Gareth Gore to a private interview, so he is also now aware of the inner workings of the Opus. What will be the fate of Escrivá? Can his sainthood be revoked? Of course not, though many suspect holy people have been quietly demoted by the PR wing of the church. Can they create some fiction that separates the saint from the excesses of his overzealous followers? That would be my guess.

Of course, perpetrators have to be held accountable and punished. Of course, the hierarchy has to accept responsibility. But the institutional church has not stepped out of its blame and punishment mindset regarding sexuality. Not on any level. This includes same sex relationships as well as extramarital relationships that heterosexual clergy get caught up in. 

There will always be a fall guy. There has to be, especially if the actual abusers seem to escape retribution. There are good bishops who act in the most compassionate way, and there are the old boys like Cardinal Law who wind up as the archpriest of a major Roman church after being removed. None should escape some taint of blame and censorship, but the world is not fair, and we get trapped by life.

"As night descends on a nation intent upon ruin, upon destruction, blind, deaf to protest, crafty, powerful, unintelligent. It is necessary to be alone, to be not part of this, to be in the exile of silence, to be in a manner of speaking a political prisoner. No matter where in the world he may be, no matter what may be his power of protest, or his means of expression, the poet finds himself ultimately where I am. Alone, silent, with the obligation of being very careful not to say what he does not mean, not to let himself be persuaded to say merely what another wants him to say, not to say what his own past work has led others to expect him to say." —Thomas Merton

from Dancing in the Water of Life: Seeking Peace in the Hermitage, The Journals of Thomas Merton: Volume Five 1963-1965. Edited by Robert E. Daggy.

What would Bapuji be Doing?

Sunday, 22 March 2026

Written with Ankit Deshwal

The Coronavirus emergency in India: On the evening of 24 March 2020, the Government of India ordered a nationwide lockdown for 21 days. As of 23 March 2026, according to Indian government figures, India has the second-highest number of confirmed cases in the world (after the United States) with 45,056,126 reported cases of COVID-19 infection and the third-highest number of COVID-19 deaths (after the United States and Brazil) at 533,847 deaths

Originally posted to my blog “Buddha, S.J.” on 23 April 2020. Deep thanks to my friend Ankit Deshwal for inspiring and encouraging me.

Gandhi Jayanti 2022 in India

On Tuesday, 13 April 2021, I fasted. It was 397 days since the first Coronavirus lockdown in India. It was also the first day of Ramadan. I am not Muslim, or even particularly religious, but I’d been asking myself what Bapuji would be doing during this pandemic, and my answer was very clear: he'd be fasting. 

Since the founding of their Republic, Indians have faced many challenges. Being true to the principles that created the largest democracy on the face of the earth, each generation has to reformulate an answer in the language and the circumstances of the present moment to this question: What would Bapuji do? This question is more than lip service to the man whose compassion and courage inspire us. It is more than just a sound bite on the TV news to gain political advantage. When facing the silent enemy of the Coronavirus, a life and death situation, our answer might determine whether we live or die. 

The threat of death and the economic destruction brought on by the virus is very different from the occupation of the British Raj. There is no enemy we can point to, no foreign army, no terrorist, no General Dyer, and also no malicious government conspiracy or incompetence. The victims of this virus are not defined by the language they speak, nor the clothes they wear, the clubs where they hang out, nor the religion they practice. The virus does not obey human laws or ordinary conventions. It is a force of nature.

And the threat is extremely grave. Many people are dying in the second wave. Crops are not harvested. Shops are closed again. Temples, mosques, shrines, churches, and gurudwaras are empty. The hospitals are turning sick people away because all the beds are taken. Doctors and nurses are being overworked, getting sick themselves, and dying because they are caring for huge numbers of patients. But most Indians, some more willing than others, are following the advice of our leaders and health professionals and staying home, reducing the rate of infection.

But this comes at an enormous cost. Nerves are frayed. Families confined at home are seeing both the love that brought them together, as well as the negative traits that they would normally tolerate. And yet, we have to do what we can because our survival depends on it. 

Of course, it is far too early to begin to draw any lessons from this experience. But certain things are clear, and I think we should keep them in mind because we cannot really know how long this situation will last.

First, we are all in this together. The virus does not discriminate between Hindu, Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists, Christians, or secularists. Our only defense is a united front. We will only succeed if we work together. We number about 135 crores and share a relatively small section of the earth’s surface. This is a difficult situation even under the best of circumstances.

Second, we have faced other crises in the past, and we have prevailed. People know how to work together in impossible situations. We've realized that any struggle is hard work, but there is no way to avoid the pain that our human life presents us.

Third, Coronavirus is stealthy. It hides. In war, soldiers wear uniforms so that they know who they are fighting with and who their enemies are. The virus has robbed us of that luxury. It has no memory of past injustices. It does not hold grudges. It does not discriminate. To those who might say that the virus itself is God’s punishment for evil, I would just beg for humility in the face of calamity. Which one of us really knows the mind of God? It is perfectly understandable to try to blame someone else when facing an overwhelming fear. It is an instinctive reaction to lash out, and we think it helps. But the virus does not share our prejudices.

And fourth, there will be pain, suffering, and loss. These are the facts of our lives now. There is no way to avoid it. 

When I first learned about Bapuji’s fasting, as a Westerner, I was puzzled. It seems obvious that the way to fight an enemy is to use all the strength and power at our command. I thought he inflicted pain on himself to motivate others, perhaps even through guilt, to come to his way of thinking or unite against the British.

But perhaps it was the only thing he could do. There was no other defense. There was no power that he had to defeat the oppressor other than his inner strength. He nourished his soul by depriving his body. It was also his way of standing up to life's suffering, accepting it willingly. 

I feel helpless in the face of the epidemic. I remain confident that the situation will improve, but I cannot predict when or how. In the meantime, I will do my best and try to overcome my prejudice and work with everyone to defeat our faceless enemy. And I will fast.

The Road to Rohatsu

Ryutan’s Candle and Kenbosha, Mumonkan Case 28

The original Chinese Goang

Longtan Chongxin (Dragon-Lake): Because Deshan Xuanjian asked more and more and night arrived, Tan said, "The night is deep. Sir, why don’t you go to lie down?"

Shan thereupon gathered his precious baggage, hoisted the [door] blind, and then exited. He saw the outside was pitch dark, withdrew, turned around, and said, "Outside is pitch dark."

Tan then lit a paper measuring-candle and gave it to him.

Shan intended to accept it, but Tan then blew it out.

I was driving from Santa Fe to Crestone with Baker Roshi for my first Rohatsu sesshin. It was going to be just Baker and me for the four-hour drive. I was assigned a lot of packing tasks; his instructions were very exacting. I remember quite clearly that I had to fit the large densho bell into the trunk of the car. There were other bells and zendo items that were needed to keep the schedule and turn the Wheel of the Dharma. 

It was probably between 4 and 5, and already getting dark when we drove out Cerro Gordo Road. We were due by 9 to formally open the sesshin; I thought we might be late, but Baker Roshi knew the route very well and had the trip planned to the second. I’d heard about his legendary fast driving, but felt very comfortable.

We talked about Phil Whalen, Issan, the Hospice, and food. Then the conversation turned to losing normal mental ability, Alzheimer's, and AIDS dementia. I was somewhat concerned about Issan losing his faculties during the last phase of his disease and asked about the effects of meditation and the blurring of our normal sense of time. I spoke of one guy in the Hospice who couldn’t even remember the past of 5 minutes ago and was completely unable to foresee any future. Given that he was a dying man, it actually seemed to be a blessing.

Baker told me that I probably shouldn’t worry too much. He mentioned something one of his old friends in Japan, Nanao Sakaki, the godfather of Japanese hippies, said when his memory was fading after he crossed 80 years, “he couldn’t remember what he didn’t need to know anyway.” 

I asked David Chadwick if he remembered having any more details about Nanao's condition. David pointed me to a conversation he had with Nanao before he died. He and David talked about a mutual friend who had colon cancer. Nanao seemed to follow the conversation but asked the same question several times, “What did he have?” "Shiri," David repeated, patting his butt, but said that he’d already answered the question.

Nanao wasn't fazed. "Kenbosho," he said. "I have kenbosho," David asked if that meant senility or Alzheimer's. Nanao wasn't exactly sure. But he was quite cheerful about it. "Ah, kenbosho is very good," he said. "No need to remember anything anyway. My mind is more empty and free every day! This is a very good thing. I like kenbosho very much."

After crossing Four Corners, the last 40 miles north up Highway 17 from Amoroso to Crestone, the road becomes totally flat, level and straight for as far as my eye could take it to the edge of the car’s headlights. The night was very dark, no light for miles; the sky seemed to be painted a deep penetrating purple that went all the way to the moon, but I didn’t really notice. I thought that we must have been late, and Baker Roshi might have been driving even faster, but it also might have just been my fear. I think we were riding in a BMW, but it might have been a Mercedes. I am not interested in cars; however, Roshi's love of fast cars is legendary and actually got him into some trouble. He turned the conversation towards how German engineers make sure that the mechanics of the automobile are tip top because driving on the autobahn was very fast and Germans demanded strict safety protocols, or, he joked, they at least needed the assurance of safety, even if a ruse.

Suddenly, the Roshi turned off the car’s headlights. It took a few seconds before my eyes adjusted. I was afraid. We were bolting up the highway at what seemed to be breakneck speed. After a few seconds which seemed like a minute, but certainly far too long in my judgment, Richard turned on the headlights again and said with a little chuckle that we were lucky that no other driver had decided to turn out the headlights on their car to experience the beauty and depth of the dark night.    

I gradually regained my composure, but my perception of the night had changed. It opened up, and I was so aware of the beauty of the night above the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. I was just part of a vast universe, beyond any explanation. 

The Diamond Sutra says, “If there is even a bit of difference, it is the distance between heaven and earth.” If Deshan (Tokusan) had been a better student and actually understood before he went all out with his over-the-top melodramatic burning of the scripture, he would have saved generations of Zen students a lot of pain. But perhaps he thought that Longtan (Ryûtan) was equally dense. The enthusiasm of a teaching moment simply overwhelmed him, and I need to shed my unsentimental Jesuit training in order to catch the beauty of fire.

Within 25 minutes, we arrived on time to a waiting hall of people all sitting in good posture. I found my seat. The days rolled on; the sun came up; the stars appeared again. I heard the Temple bell ring, and I woke up.

I returned to Santa Fe with some other friends, and quickly fell into a round of gatherings and holiday parties. I called Southwest Airlines and postponed my departure several times. I was having fun. 

Then, just after dinner at Robert Winson’s house, someone handed me the phone. It was Issan. He’d tracked me down. He asked how I was doing and how my sesshin had been. I told him that I thought Santa Fe was beautiful and just amazing with all the luminaria and snow.

“Oh yes,” he said; I remember his words exactly, “all those cute little mud houses. You know that the effect of sesshin can be like a drug trip, and it’s wonderful, but we need you here. Why don’t you come home?”

I called the airport and booked the next flight to San Francisco. It was time to return to my immediate experience of day-to-day life at Maitri Hospice, where the moment of living life is always in the shadow of knowing that it will end sooner than we might have dreamed..

  

Daido Loori’s verse:

Within darkness there is light;

within light there is darkness.

If you really see it,

you will go blind.

Tarrant Roshi concurs.