“Don't Just Give Up!”

 Should You Just Give Up?

Sisyphus couldn’t stop pushing his boulder—but you can.

By Joshua Rothman

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/open-questions/should-you-just-give-up

Far be it from me to enter into a debate with an astounding self-help writer. He writes for the New Yorker, so God help me, but I will call him out. Joshua Rothman seems to indicate in his latest article, “Should You Just Give Up?” that sometimes--actually, as a general rule--we should scale back our dreams to land them within the parameters of reasonable or “doable” and thus escape being disappointed or disillusioned. We’d be happier campers. 

Who am I to argue with a man with such august credentials? I am an 80-year-old failure who has faced at least an equal share of unhappiness as most living, breathing humans, but since I entered religious life as a Jesuit when I was 23 after an Ivy League education with its promise of a cushy life with lots of cash and prizes, I have never given up on my dreams. They have, of course, changed and morphed, but they are still as strong a motivating factor as they were on August 15th, 1966. What is most important, however, is that at 80, I am still living my dreams. Life is challenging, exciting, and new if I’m not careful, although when I get up from more frequent naps, I find myself remembering people and events decades old with clarity and sometimes even wonder. But the most frequent emotion is a deep feeling of gratitude. 

However, when Rothman dug up some anecdotal evidence from Kennet Roshi, I dug in my heels. He cites another self-help writer, Oliver Burkeman, who advocates “imperfectionism.”  Burkeman invokes the British Zen master Houn Jiyu-Kennett, who, instead of lightening the burden she placed on her students, made it “so heavy that he or she would put it down.” Once her charges saw their situations as “totally irredeemable,” they gave themselves “permission to stop struggling.” Burkeman counsels: “Instead of setting out to become a master meditator—and buying the requisite books, candles, cushion, and app—you should simply try meditating for five minutes today, and see what happens.”

I am at least 25,000 hours beyond the meditation time I might have logged using his five-minute rule. I also know the first person in the US that Kennet authorized to teach. We talk at least twice a week. Just standing in those qualifications, I want to ask Mr. Burkeman who the fuck he thinks he is to be telling people to give up on the dream of becoming Zen Masters so that they can settle into some kind of semi-pleasurable mediocrity? We need more Zen masters. You have examined the state of our world and noticing that innumerable unhappy people have given up their dreams, your best advice is just to wake up and do a long, fact-driven pro and con list to settle on some achievable goals. Then you cite all the psychologists you’ve delved into in your 20-year writing career and find evidence that people have been pie in the sky and perhaps just getting real and seeing what they can reasonably do is the best way out. After all, Jung told us just to do what’s at hand. 

I’m not giving some blanket advice that talking to someone with perspective is not valuable or that when pursuing some quixotic project, talking to a lawyer or accountant is a bad idea; far from it. Perhaps Burkeman is drawing the wrong conclusions from his Kennet anecdote. Maybe it was not to give up at all, but rather to see the situation for what it was, head-on, with no illusions, and then change your approach and give up a strategy that is not working. Yes, of course, stop struggling, but that is not advice to give up. It just means to stop struggling and perhaps stop daydreaming. Go deeper into your dream and discover what it tells you. I am also sure Kennet said to wake up, but certainly, she did not counsel anyone to shut down their dreams.

Maha Kumba Mela as Sacrament

Religion defines a sacrament as a religious ceremony or ritual that imparts divine blessing. They are both a sign or symbol of a spiritual reality and that reality itself. The efficacy of the intervention from above usually depends on inner qualities, the depth of faith in the believer, his or her devotion, and the level of commitment, for example, the depth of the penance or suffering displayed in the ritual. 

The Baltimore Catechism defines sacraments as outward signs that represent inward grace and have the power to produce it in the soul. 

What’s important here is that it is the religion itself spelling out its terms, descriptors of its tools, as well as their uses and intended results. From the viewpoint of the historian of religion, it’s just some data for analysis. My intention is clear: I am trying to be as objective as possible. This is more evident when we look at various cultural expressions side by side for comparison.

The Sadhguru and every other baba will tell us that the Maha Kumba Mela is a massive public display of devotion with an equally powerful inward reality that is a vehicle of God’s grace and that even Westerners can benefit. “I do yoga, man, so let’s do this maha mela thing.” My YouTube feed is making it a numbers game. !4 million participants will yield more blessings than 1.4. They are playing the game of the relative power of a cult or belief system. Join the club.

I’ve spent more time in India than most Westerners who are not scholars, Hindu converts, or wanna-be Saddhus. Even if I were younger, I would never subject myself to the Kumba Mela. Woodstock was what? Half a million. Burning Man, 70,000. How many at Lourdes, even on a yearly basis? Three to four million. Due to the alignment of the celestial bodies this year, 15 million people are expected to attend the Kumba Mela over the next 45 days. All huddled on an open, muddy plane with minimal sanitation facilities and accommodations. But that is a description of my culture shock. The fault is in the observer.

My first year in India, in 2010, we traveled from the northernmost part of India to Delhi to catch our plane to the US on or about July 15th. We had been up in Leh-Ladakh to avoid the heavy rains marking the beginning of monsoon. We came down the Manali Highway on the east side of the lower Himalayan range, traveling over the highest passes (at the time) for conventional vehicles, Tanglang La, at about 18,000 feet. Then we drove over the famous Rohtang Pass to Manali and Shimla before we dropped down into Haridwar, which, at 1000 feet above sea level, sits at the head of the Ganges as it begins its descent to the Bay of Bengal. We’d planned a ceremonial dip in the sacred waters. Even at its head, with all the new water from the melted snow, the river was so filthy, I wouldn’t even stick my toe in it, much less swim, particularly when I saw half-burnt human bodies floating downstream among floral garlands. 

As we were checking out of our guest house, we began to notice large groups, gangs of young guys, a few younger saddhus, plus a few women, very few, walking on the road with large buckets of water. Though there was no dress code, they all seemed to be attempts at something vaguely like the saddhus' orange loincloth. Headbands de rigeur. Each band or gang had a large image of Shiv or some other deity they were carrying or pulling. There was equal chanting and boom boxes. The smell of marijuana was so strong that we were getting high in a sealed vehicle. We began the trip from Haridwar to New Delhi. It usually takes about four and a half hours, but it would take us 12.  At some places on the road, the procession was so slow-moving that our driver tried some shortcuts in vain. The dense procession clogged the new double-lane highway. I have no way of estimating, but I suspect at least 50,000, perhaps more than 100,000 pilgrims, were walking barefoot the 233 km from Mother Ganga's source to Delhi and then onto small villages, carrying holy water for the new year’s rituals. That is just one day’s count. The “carrying” would go on for at least a fortnight.

It was a ritual not widely publicized outside India. We asked what it was, but Ashish may have poorly understood the Hindi, or it was untranslatable. Later, we found out that these crews are called “the carriers.” Indeed, any village Shiv temple worth its salt had to organize a team. Baba-ji would lose face if he didn’t get a few buckets of holy water from the onset of the monsoon.

It was a cross between rite of passage and village custom that goes back many generations if not millennia. With a few exceptions, the single middle-aged man or the small group of women, it was a young men's game, but unlike Woodstock, there was no sex; the sporty groups in orange gym shorts were moving quickly and carrying their shrines, the new-age rockers with loud boom boxes had rented and decorated a truck; farm boys were dragging their altars with tractors, another hip crowd had streamers and sequins, there were the kids whose guru came from the strict observance, flowers, and incense combined with traditional religious songs, and as I mentioned, they were all barefoot.

The Sadhguru will explain the myth on TV, but, like the Mormon Prophet, he won’t dirty his crisp white uniform. His net worth is also 50 million USD. The average income of the carriers I observed was probably pretty standard--under 5,000 USD yearly. But everyone has their job and their pay scale.

All the local temples along the route, and there were more than several hundred--the route was more than 150 miles, had pales of rice and dahl, drinks, ice packs, and some essential medical attention, all organized by the Hindu equivalent of the lady's Marian devotion group; they’d corralled their husbands into lending a hand. That was recognizable and quite lovely.

At one petrol station, we found a Hindu entrepreneur with a water purification system on the back of his truck. He was selling purified holy water in recycled two-liter plastic containers. Ashish bought some for his super pious mother. The hard truth is that Mother Ganga is a sewer. This was in 2010, and in the fourteen years since then, the Modi government has poured billions into cleaning up the water. They have tried to stop or curtail the dumping of raw sewage directly into the river, the runoff from the Muslim tanneries and cloth dying factories, and the effluent waste products from chemical manufacture. However, these efforts have been going on in earnest since at least 1984, and they are still trying to measure the results. The sacrament's efficacy does not extend to measurable reductions in pollutants, at least not yet, though there are some reports of improvement from the government. My experience in Haridwar, Varanasi, and Calcutta tells me there is a vast gap between what is reported and reality.  My motto in India is “Never drink the water. Pray and filter. Always.” 

Now for the hard part. It is impossible to gauge any realization experiences, blessings, or other events we might attribute to divine intervention. I’m not saying that they don’t exist. All we have are anecdotes of deliverance or inward change. I think there is enough evidence that some people who undertake experiences out of the ordinary experience some inner change, some more than others, some beneficial, and some quite the opposite. But these experiences are in the realm of religion and mysticism. 

It is entirely possible that the devotees at the Maha Mela might have life-changing experiences. In fact, it is very probable that some do, especially if they were doing penance for some infarction, real or imagined. It is probably impossible to attribute a direct cause-and-effect relationship. Is it like a Catholic First Communion? That is a definite no.