Showing posts with label SAT Seekers After Truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SAT Seekers After Truth. Show all posts

Monday, October 2, 2023

Did Carlos Castaneda’s don Juan actually exist?

Syncretism, Syncretic Occultism, Carlos Castaneda and the Monetization of the Occult

When asked by an interviewer if don Juan Matus actually existed (as well as straightening out some inconsistencies in his personal biography), Carlos Castaneda replied, "To ask me to verify my life by giving you my statistics ... is like using science to validate sorcery. It robs the world of its magic and makes milestones out of us all."


What I take this to mean is that the Yaqui sorcerer don Juan was a convenient fiction made up by an anthropology student with a vivid imagination and a few too many peyote buttons. But Castaneda was a compelling story teller and we all believed it---and bought his books. It is not surprising that he and Naranjo became friends. He visited the early SAT groups, and perhaps used Naranjo’s group process to create his own Tensegrity, “the modernized version of some movements called magical passes developed by Indigenous shamans who lived in Mexico in times prior to the Spanish conquest."


One very deep root of the modern Western Enneagram teaching is the small world of Latin American esotericism and its deep, though convoluted connection with native shamanism. Naranjo’s own story is tied up with that of Ichazo who was never very clear about his sources--usually some version of the story of stopping for lunch at an ordinary wayside ristorante in Argentina and the waiter handing him a note from a group of ordinary-looking men sipping afternoon aperitifs while exchanging the latest in their research of the inner workings of the human psyche. Another partially verified story is Naranjo’s journey to Arica Chile where, after some vague initiation into a mystery cult, receiving instructions from a Bolivian esotericist named Oscar Ichazo who by the way was guided by his spiritual guide, the highest Archangel Metatron, Naranjo went out into the Atacama Desert for 40 days, the driest place on the face of the earth (drier than the place where Jesus stood down the devil in his 40 day retreat). There he told us that he went through a rebirth experience, and that having been trained as a medical doctor, he could recognize all the stages of the embryo being formed, the organs beginning to function, etc. I remember at the time wondering how high he was when he told that tale, something about his intonation, and phrasing.


But I did believe that Don Juan was real until the raccoon encounter.


Naranjo’s house was down on the Berkeley flatlands. I can see the house clearly in my memory and almost remember the exact address--14 hundred something Alston Way. It was not in those days all gentrified but a modest, even run down neighborhood of California bungalows. There was a small creek that ran at the back of the property, and Claudio had thrown up a shack, his study house, on its edge. Carlos and Claudio were doing some kind of drugs, and a raccoon came and sat by the screen door watching them in a rather intense way, or so they said. Castaneda was sure that the raccoon had been taken over by a spirit being to deliver a message.


Guys, you were high and tripping out on a raccoon looking for a yummy garbage dinner. I'm not using science to validate sorcery, but I am suspicious of the drugs.


 



Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Dianetics paves the way for Rasputin

An old friend from Naranjo's first Seekers After Truth group asked if I would be interested in joining her for a “spiritual event.” She gave me no real information about the evening other than it was being organized by a woman whom my friend had met in Scientology, and there was an obligation of friendship. 

I also had an obligation of friendship though it would be tested, and it turns out, for much longer than this brief evening in an extremely ordinary American suburb temporarily transported into the intrigue of late Imperial Russia. My SAT friend had responded to Naranjo’s call--I think he might describe it as a suggestion but certainly not a command--to sneak into Scientology and steal their technology. She had been trained as an auditor and reached a rather high level which took an enormous amount of time and energy. Subsequently she quit the official church and worked with a group of renegade Scientologists. Others who responded to the challenge were not as fortunate. Even in the 70’s joining Scientology was not akin to joining your local Methodist Church to give your kids a groundwork in the Judeo-Christian tradition that is the backbone of democracy. It was an insidious cult. In retrospect Naranjo’s cavalier attitude was unethical and shared the distinct smell of cult practice.


I followed many of Naranjo’s suggestions as if part of the shock troops of an esoteric army aimed at recovering the secret practices that would lead to our liberation. I completed the communications course at the Berkeley Mission of the Church of Scientology, something I later learned was akin to a franchise, started by some people who had reached a certain level “going clear.” When I asked about Scientology’s attitude towards being gay, I was told that if I fully understood that the true purpose of life was survival, I would see that I had to procreate and a bit of auditing would clear up any same sex attraction that was lingering in my bank. I said thank you very much but I would not be coming back for any more classes or auditing..


I remember my exit interview quite well. I had to visit the Ethics Officer. I was told that they wanted to make sure that I had no “withholds” regarding my treatment in the Mission. I said no to whatever questions were asked and apparently my needle was floating although I remember being angry with the arrogance.  

 

The Scientologist who was hosting the gathering was a Chinese American woman who lived in the hilly suburb of El Cerrito. It was just before dusk when we began looking for parking between the driveways of the well ordered ordinary middle class track homes. Most of the neighbors were already home from work so it took some time. Eventually we found our way into a large two car garage, complete with monochrome storage boxes neatly arranged on racks above our heads. My memory tells me that there were perhaps 50 people sitting on the folding chairs, but my rational mind can’t squeeze more than 35 into the space, perhaps less. There was a slightly raised platform where the speaker sat. He was introduced by our hostess. 


After he told us his name, some history of a spiritual lineage, he said that he was going into a semi-trance, and the spirit of Rasputin would be speaking through him. Yes, Rasputin, the wild philandering drunk monk who played a significant role in the downfall and death of the Romanov dynasty during the Bolshevik Revolution. I admit that my interest was peaked. I wondered if I could ask a question of the sex life of the young princesses who would meet a grizzly fate, but almost anticipating my perverse interest, he said that he, Rasputin, would not entertain questions, but if we paid attention and held a question in our hearts, we would find our answer.

Our medium had been a used car salesman who found his way to Dianetics. Apparently a bit of clearing opened the way for him to channel the Russian mystic gone rogue who could now proffer valuable advice so that we would not repeat his tragic mistakes. I found no answers but maybe I didn’t have any good questions except where did our semi-trance medium pick up the Russian accent. It was pretty hilarious. He did more than a full hour sounding like a drunk Boris Yeltsin. 


I held my tongue, paid the requested donation of 5 bucks, it might have been as high as 10, and left rather unenlightened other than knowing that finding parking in the El Cerrito hills after 6 PM was not a piece of cake. I think I turned to my friend and said, well that was something. I don’t know what the financial arrangement was between the host and the medium, but the take could have been anywhere for 350 to 500 dollars, or more--in 1990 dollars. Not bad for a few hours, better than hanging out on an asphalt parking lot trying to sell beat up Toyotas. 


Although I tried for many years to keep our friendship alive, this woman from SAT’s early days decided that she would not tolerate anything negative I wrote about our early work with Naranjo and cut off all communication. My obligation of friendship is that I remove her name or any identifying characteristics. If the work we did cannot stand the scrutiny of honest examination, we deny any inherent value in self-exploration. I will do anything to prevent someone from setting foot inside any Mission of the Church of Scientology although I am sure that the truth-speaking ghost of Rasputin is available for consultation. His rates have undoubtedly increased. It was more than 30 years ago.


All the particulars of these events actually happened. What in the name of God were we thinking?


Saturday, July 15, 2023

Bob Hoffman's Dirty Secrets

New Age Miracle or Fraud


Bob Hoffman and his famous Fisher-Hoffman Psychic Therapy, Hoffman Quadrinity Process, Quadrinity Process


By Kenneth Ireland



Part 1

Contents

Bamboozled

The Seekers After Truth meets the Hoffman Process

No Better than a Ouija Board

A Second of Authentic Experience

The Long Ride Home


© Kenneth Ireland

12/8/2022

Mcleod Ganj 

Himachal Pradesh, India


Bamboozled

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark


I heard Bob Hoffman tell his otherworldly story many times. 


In the middle of the night in 1968 in Oakland California, Hoffman was awakened from a deep sleep by the discontented ghost of a family friend, the renowned German psychiatrist Siegfried Fisher who had recently died. Dr. Fisher, as Hoffman always called him, stood at the end of his bed and revealed a key piece of psychological insight that had eluded his mentor, Sigmund Freud and the entire Viennese School: we human beings are blindly tied to repeating the mistakes and negative behaviors of our parents because we are starved for authentic love “Everyone is guilty and no one to blame.” Thus was born the concept of Negative Love and the "world famous" Fisher-Hoffman Process of Psychic Therapy; both have the dubious markings of revealed Truth, and Hoffman, an awakened Teacher.


Fisher then took Hoffman through a process freeing him from the negative conditioning from his parents, and erased the karmic link. Fischer disappeared with the promise to return and assist Hoffman to complete some of his own unfinished work, his karma, and that Hoffman could help him “move on.” Hoffman said he heard the phrase “doors will open” when he asked Fisher how he, a tailor, would enter the world of professional psychotherapy and present this insight as the missing piece, an antidote to the endless cycle of analysis.


The tale is as absurd as it was unlikely. Over time cracks inevitably started to appear in Hoffman’s narrative. The first crack was the obvious lie that Hoffman and Fischer had been friends or acquaintances introduced at synagogue by his wife’s family.

 

Hoffman presented a scenario of convivial after-dinner conversations with Fischer. They chatted and argued about the existence of the psychic realm, life after death, and questions about the efficacy of psychotherapy versus the Spiritualist Church’s doctrine: “truth” spoken by disembodied spirits to spirits inhabiting human bodies, satisfying karmic obligations. Fischer was the scientific materialist and would have none of it. Hoffman’s telling had the feel of an apocalyptic battle between the forces of good and evil, psychotherapy vs. a psychic tailor, and in the end, the psychic declaring victory after death.


After hearing this part of Hoffman’s story, with slight variations, innumerable times, I also began to feel that Hoffman had an ax to grind with the enterprise of psycho-analysis, that he had probably had a failed experience in therapy. I asked Hoffman if he had been Fischer’s patient and, finally after many years, he admitted that he had been, although he claimed that he and his wife had seen Fischer for family therapy with their son Michael. I have confirmed through reliable sources that the story was another lie. Hoffman himself had been Fisher’s long term patient. I began to suspect that he had quit while still in transference. 


Who was Siegfried Fischer? Hoffman claimed that Fischer was an acquaintance, a friend of his wife’s family, a German psychiatrist who managed to escape the country in 1936, making his way to San Francisco. I confirmed from the public record that Siegfried Fischer did emigrate in the 40’s and practiced psychotherapy at Langley Porter. Fischer’s son David contacted me after reading some of my online writing. He maintained that his father was never a close personal friend of Hoffman or Hoffman’s wife. David filed a lawsuit against Hoffman to cease using his father’s name, “Fisher-Hoffman Psychic Therapy.” Hoffman did not contest David’s claim, and changed the name of the FHPT to the Quadrinity Process. However, Hoffman still claimed, both in private conversation and group presentations, a personal friendship with Fischer and that Fischer was his spirit guide. 

To complicate the investigation, as if it were not already cloudy enough, Hoffman was a sexual predator. I had first hand experience, and the effects of his abuse lingered for decades. At 78 I thought that I had to be resigned that the trauma caused by his selfish and unethical behavior would last for the rest of my life. If the criteria for resolution is that I can forgive and forget, it was not satisfied. It made no difference that he was a closeted homophobic queer, and that it had been a severe impediment to his happiness. Yes, everyone is guilty but I continued to blame him. I also gave up trying to see some “wounded healer” motivation as a factor in his psychic therapy.  What’s the word? Bunk, as in complete nonsense.


I am amazed that no one, not one single person other than me, actually undertook a real investigation of Hoffman’s claims. Everyone, teachers, licensees, therapists, clients, simply believed Hoffman’s disembodied spirit at the foot of the bed story. Still, facts in my face, I fell under his thrall.


So how was I bamboozled? In October of 1973 over several months of psychological investigation in Naranjo’s group, I had an awakening. I saw that I was totally responsible for my life, exactly as it was. The insight would completely change my life, and I am grateful to Naranjo for providing the platform for the experience. It was my bad luck that Hoffman was also in the room. That was 50 years ago. I gave a charlatan power over me.


When I read Henry Miller’s account of his experience just looking at a photograph of Madame Blavatsky, I understood him completely. Miller writes: “Now I don’t know if that had anything to do with what happened next, but I had a flash, I came to the realization that I was responsible for my whole life, whatever had happened. I used to blame my family, society, my wife . . . and that day I saw so clearly that I had nobody to blame but myself. I put everything on my own shoulders and I felt so relieved: Now I’m free, no one else is responsible. And that was a kind of awakening, in a way.”


The Seekers After Truth meet the Hoffman Process  

Seduced by the promise of an easy path, countless others have jumped for what appeared to be a lifeboat when they were floundering and in pain. And if we’ve managed to save a few bucks, there are always scoundrels with a life jacket for sale. I ask myself why I was such an idiot, but to soften the harshness, I pose the question in a different way: why do intelligent people believe nonsense? My friend Stan Stefancic tried to guide me, “Remember that there's a lot of Naranjo in the Process,” I thought long and hard to determine if Naranjo’s input was enough of a justification to accept Hoffman’s preposterous story. I tried to understand why Naranjo took Hoffman to be some kind of modern day shaman, and supported his work. 


Naranjo did support Hoffman and tried to plant some professional practices in the Process, but I couldn't really find a good answer nor in any way understand Naranjo's infatuation with Hoffman. Naranjo was a psychotherapist of ability and insight. After his experience in Arica, he was always on the lookout for tools that might enhance his work, and Hoffman needed Naranjo’s imprimatur. It was a relationship fraught with jealousy on Hoffman’s part as well as a good deal of passive aggressive behavior.


Naranjo had met Hoffman and did his rudimentary Process of Psychic Therapy in the basement of Hoffman’s tailor shop on 15th Street in Oakland. It was emotional and exotic enough to capture Naranjo’s interest. And it allegedly came from an “other worldly” source which always caught his attention. He says that after the experience, he felt he should help Hoffman shape a group process, and become his John the Baptist. Yes, Naranjo really used this messianic analogy. Both men painted their collaboration as destined by heaven. I do not claim to have any secret knowledge about their relationship, but I do know that it was as codependent as the analogy is preposterous. Members of Naranjo’s SAT were the guinea pigs in their initial experiment. 


In Naranjo’s book, End of Patriarchy: And the Dawning of a Tri-Une Society, there is a chapter about this first group, Naranjo claims that he, Naranjo, directed, and that his indications were delivered by Rosalyn Schaffer with Hoffman a silent witness. This is simply not true. Hoffman was far from silent. It was a rocky road. Naranjo’s collaboration ended before the Process was complete. Although both men tried to paint their rupture in the best possible light, it did not end well. I will try to be as honest as I can about what I observed. I was present at every session through to the point where Hoffman and Naranjo ended their experiment. When I speculate and say something not substantiated by the record, I will alert you.

___________


About 8:30 on a cold Tuesday night in the early fall, I sat on the floor of a ramshackle old fraternity house near the UC Berkeley campus with the new students in Naranjo’s SAT 2. Naranjo Introduced Bob Hoffman as a person who had a unique insight into our parental conditioning. Naranjo said that he’d offered to help Hoffman shape the work he’d been doing with individuals into a group process. We were to be the avant garde of psychic therapy. Then after these few short words, he turned the meeting over to the mild mannered and soft-spoken Schaffer, and left the room. She delivered a few “indications” about the way the process would proceed, and yielded the floor to Hoffman. He was hardly silent. 


To this day I remember many details of that bizarre evening quite clearly. Hoffman wore an expensive sport coat and garish tie while we were mostly in jeans and tee shirts. He appeared extremely uncomfortable standing behind Schaffer, and when he began to speak, it was obvious that he was not educated in any psychological discipline. His presentation was gruff and aggressive. He dominated the room, alternately talking then yelling in a kind of dumbed-down jargon, the teaching style that would later be recognized as a kind of trademark.


A tailor with no psychological training told 30-35 eager, inquisitive, mostly young, highly educated people present that no one in the room really loved themselves, that like actors in a bad play with an unhappy ending, we only gave love to get love, that we’d learned everything we knew and understood about love from our negative, almost perverse relationships with our parents who didn’t know the first thing about love. 


The definition of Negative Love was “illogical logic and nonsensical sense but masochistically true or why would we do it.” No questions. If we didn’t understand, we were just playing the game of playing dumb; if we thought he thought he was dumb, it was negative transference, and proof that we didn’t love ourselves. If we thought he was dressed in bad taste, we were mired in self-hatred. I thought he was overdressed for the Trifecta so my transference had already begun. Hoffman set himself up to be the point of transference for all the negative emotions we’d inherited from our parents. They were the main reason that we were miserable. There was no invitation to observe our reactions. No one knew anything—nobody except him. He had received an other-worldly message in a revelatory middle-of-the-night visitation when his spirit guide, Dr. Siegfried Fisher, taught us how to get a loving divorce from mommy and daddy.


We were then told to close our eyes and imagine many steps that were detailed as we built a psychically sealed vault, our Sanctuary, where we could work and be worked on in safety. Once settled into that space, we were instructed to look for a human figure, no angels, who would appear and become our spirit guide. We were told to pay attention, and listen for messages. Hoffman told us that he’d “opened us psychically,” and we would receive solutions to our problems from our spirit guide. These were real spirits and real messages, not some imaginary construct, and if we didn’t believe him, it was negative transference.


Once we were “psychically open,” Hoffman asked us to imagine holding a lovely fruit, an orange I think, but it might have been a strawberry. Then he told us to taste it, savor it, feel it drip down our throat, When we opened our eyes of course there was no succulent fruit in our hands, we’d created the whole thing in our minds, but didn’t it feel real? He asserted categorically that our emotions were just like this, both negative or positive, simply the projection of our mind that dictated the way we behaved, acted, felt and most importantly, how we learned to love.


Hoffman assured us that whatever we created could be uncreated, or replaced, by placing our attention on our inattention, and what it could be replaced with would be shown to us by our spirit guides through "mind trips." We were instructed to pinpoint a negative trait, and then, after we’d imagined it written out in words, our guide incinerated it with beams of light shooting out of his or her hands, and threw the ashes on the ground of our sanctuary where they became seeds for flowers that grew and spelled out a word that would be the positive side of the negativity that we’d pictured. Then we were instructed to make a list of all the negative characteristics of our mother, and bring it to the next session.


He ended the evening with a smile on his face, very pleased with himself. We'd also been hypnotized. I just had a spirit visitation along with a ouija board session served up in a few long hours. I knew it was ridiculous, but I felt trapped. I had just moved all the way from New York and had nowhere else to turn. I looked down and took notes, resolved to stay and do the work.

___________


Naranjo told us that even just a second of authentic experience could change our world.


We launched into what Hoffman called “The Prosecution of Mother.” I calculate that the exercise lasted more than a month. For Hoffman lists of negative traits and admonitions were key to the Prosecution of Mother, but there didn’t seem to be any real logic or purpose or order in the lists or making the lists. It was just anything that we found unsetting, or anything Hoffman saw that he judged to be negative. The one criteria for the lists was length. A short list was proof of denial. Then there was what he called the emotional autobiography with mother. Again there was no real analysis. It just had to be emotional.


Under Naranjo’s direction, we worked several times a week in small groups of three people. We were instructed to touch the core of any latent anger we harbored towards our mothers through role play, questioning and feedback. The aim was to understand in the most complete way possible its level and depth.


It took weeks for me to allow myself to express any anger. When I was in the hot seat, I tried to express anger, but no one in the group believed me. So I tried again. Again just surface complaints about a trivial matter. This went on for more than a week. But then one evening something inside me opened. I could use the word snapped. My anguish and anger exploded. The pitch of my voice broke a glass that was sitting beside a woman friend in my support cohort. 


The experience was for me one of the major breakthroughs of my entire adult life. It was as if a huge veil had been lifted. I had to admit that I was an angry person. I could no longer pretend that I was somehow spared the anguish of a domineering parent. And with that realization, the intricate spiritual world of a young Jesuit seeker that I’d constructed as defense began to look like a sham, and 10 years of rigorous disciplined religious life began to crumble. I recognized a range of feelings that I’d struggled to avoid all my life, ones I’d actually constructed my life to avoid feeling. And in that moment I became solidly engaged in the exploration to achieve some degree of resolution and freedom. It would be a very difficult, long process. The breakthrough happened under Claudio’s guidance, carefully using the technique he’s learned from Perls. It was also, and perhaps this is just my bad luck, part of Claudio’s efforts to help Hoffman create the Group Process. 


My life story began unraveling. The trajectory of my life changed, and I began a long and difficult journey. I recognized on a very deep level that I harbored a well of repressed anger towards my parents, my rearing, and the Jesuits. I didn't realize it at the time, but I turned my back on 10 years of rigorous religious training and had to start afresh. 


Hoffman’s contribution in this equation is that he was the loudest voice in the room when my emotional defenses began to crumble. But given the vagaries of our psychological make-up, I conflated the psychological events which only reinforced my transference towards Hoffman. Hand in hand with an immense sense of freedom came the crippling burden of decades of dealing with transference to a narcissist sexual predator. Because it was on the level of peer counseling, no one could provide the kind of professional feedback that the situation demanded. Naranjo for all his insight and professionalism was negligent.


I was left floundering. My guide was no better than a ouija board.

___________


At about the same time, it became clear that Hoffman was frustrated with the pace of the process and the depth of Naranjo’s exploration. The strain between the men started to show. Hoffman felt that a person just had to “open” to the emotions that he or she had either denied or repressed. Naranjo’s work with Fritz Perls and his own psychological training, I think, opened the emotional world for exploration, but Hoffman was not interested in anything more than the psychic and emotional motivation for adopting the negative behaviors of parent or parent surrogate. He’d worked with people in his one-on-one process in a matter of 4 or 5 weeks. 


Hoffman’s professional behavior was also problematic. He claimed he had to break us down so that we could build ourselves up which gave him blanket permission to be a confrontational bully, at times verging on the psychotic. List of Mother’s Negative Traits and emotional autobiography in hand, playing tough-love, or alternatively good cop-bad cop, Hoffman would scrutinize gestures, mannerisms, speech patterns, slips of the tongue, ways of dressing, and pick a fight. He lectured, cajoled, confronted, and intimidated. He was extremely good at reading a person’s weakness, imitating it, and exaggerating it. He would shout, insult, mock, humiliate, bully and belittle, accusing us of playing games. He was unrelenting. And then he went in for the kill.


I was appalled. This unprofessional behavior went unchallenged. He justified it as “breaking down to build up.” Any therapist in the group was singled out for harsh attention. My guess is that Hoffman, the psychic tailor playing in a world of highly trained mental health professionals, needed to be a bully. He continued it throughout his career. He had a very low level of self-esteem, and needed the endorsement of a man of Naranjo’s stature. This further complicated their relationship, making honesty impossible.


Hoffman’s behaviors went unchallenged. They were so far outside the norms of ethical conduct for a therapist or spiritual guide that it usually left everyone speechless, but few left. Those who did were ridiculed as not having the inner strength to do real Work. Hoffman justified himself by insisting that we couldn’t even see that we were just negative children. His job was to point out all the ways we acted out of negative love and that our resistance and denial were so strong it required a very strong hand. He used the “iron fist covered in the velvet glove of love.” And he let us know in no uncertain terms his job was thankless with very little reward.


Hoffman’s arrogance in the face of sound psychotherapy went unchallenged. He had no understanding of basic genetic ordering and impulses, no grasp of a complex set of emotional responses conditioned over time. The only economy was “buying love.” Every human action was a calculated transaction to obtain the genuine affection, love and acceptance that you craved from infancy but were denied. He’d point to any behavior he thought was negative, self-defeating, counterproductive and taunt in a whiny voice, “See mommy, now will you love me?” Hoffman repeated his maxim over and over, “everyone is guilty and no one’s to blame.” We were just the sum of sins of our fathers and mothers. The mechanism was simply learning to imitate your parents’ negative traits and internalize their negative admonitions. We acted in the exact same way to get the love we thought, no, knew we deserved or rebelled against it.


After about a month it was clear to me that Naranjo lost control of the process, and Hoffman was increasingly unhappy when Naranjo tried to regain control, particularly in insisting on the pace of the work. Their much heralded collaboration lasted 9 weeks on the outside. After weeks working on “Mother Bitch session” (now called “bashing”), Hoffman had enough of the careful exploration of repressed anger, and suddenly announced that he and Naranjo had reached a friendly agreement to end their experiment, and Naranjo’s participation, after the “Defense of Mother.” 


Hoffman did get something from the SAT Group that has become a hallmark of the Process. The Wiffle bat and overstuffed pillow have become synonymous with releasing repressed anger, something that he had tried unsuccessfully in his psychic readings by having his patients write “an anger letter” to his or her parents after they’d written an emotional autobiography. He had little use for Naranjo’s therapeutic exploration, and certainly not the methodology of Fritz Perls, or the Enneagram for that matter. It took too long, and actually went to the root of anger. Hoffman only cared about tapping a deep emotional reservoir. The process of expressing anger, followed by the fabricated understanding that came from his psychic readings, would reappear again and again in the development of the current Process. Hoffman loved an emotional jolt. He was a junkie and a one-trick pony.

___________


With appropriate fanfare, Hoffman announced that he would be leading his own 13 week Process beginning that January. He made a point of taking me aside and strongly encouraging me to join his pilot Process at Tolman Hall. He told me that I would go on to lead groups, and that I should definitely train under Dr. Ernie Pecci whose PSI Institute would be taking over the Process. I was one of only a handful of SAT members who did. In retrospect, Hoffman was just following the predator’s script, grooming me for sexual conquest. His unethical and criminal behavior would play out over the next year.


In late January of ‘73, 50 or so people gathered for Hoffman’s first 13 week group Process of Psychic therapy in a nondescript rented classroom in UC Berkeley’s Tolman Hall, the home of its psychology department. Hoffman believed that location could bestow a measure of legitimacy.. We met every Monday night, and an assignment was due by Wednesday. It was more of a forced march than psychological inquiry. The main elements of the current Process were there, a rigid set of exercises, the requirement to complete the assignments with as much emotional expression as possible, and to be on time. Keeping up meant in Hoffman’s estimation that you were willing to break down your defenses and see yourself clearly.


We were told that imaginary conversations had the same function as Hoffman using his psychic power to look into our parents' history. We would discover actual events and circumstances of their programming, and could tap into the same deep unconscious emotional knowledge which contained the truth about our parents’ rearing. There’s a proper term to describe this well established psychological principle. Nonsense. Total nonsense.



The Long Ride Home

Shortly after 5 on a hot Wednesday afternoon, I hand delivered my “Emotional Autobiography with Father'' to Hoffman’s office on the second floor of a building in downtown Oakland. His secretary had already left. Hoffman was recording his feedback for another patient on a cheap cassette player. He’d thrown his feet up on the desk. I stood awkwardly in the half open doorway. There was no chair, no invitation to engage in a conversation.


He told me to hand him my work. Right on the spot he’d read a paragraph, comment on the emotional tone, and then make a simplistic, predictable connection between the specific circumstances I’d described and a negative pattern or character trait that he asserted I’d adopted from my father in an attempt to bargain for love.

 

Hoffman read through to an incident about my father resetting the stone wall at the back of our lot. As Dad was lifting stones into a wheelbarrow, he uncovered the nest of a woodchuck who’d built her nest in a cranny between the rocks. As she ferociously defended her cubs, my father killed her and her cubs with his shovel. As I remembered it, he began to beat her viciously. Her screams were chilling. 

 

Hoffman complimented the emotional tone of my writing, but then he began to raise his voice. Obviously my Dad was a homosexual he said, and then, “You’re gay too, aren’t you?” I countered how he could deduce that my dad was gay based on bludgeoning a woodchuck? His voice became louder and louder. He just repeated “You’re gay.” Now he was almost screaming—obviously my father was a sadist. What? Then he yelled, “You’re gay? Don’t play games with me. I know these things.” I said, of course I had gay feelings, but I was unsure if I was gay. “Don’t play games with me,” his voice was now very angry, his face red. I had watched Hoffman attack clients, but I could barely believe that I was now his victim. 

 

My Dad was not gay. The idea of having a same sex relationship never crossed his mind in his entire life. Hoffman’s readings were projections and his own pathology. What he asserted was so off base that it isn’t worthy of even the weirdest pop psychology. But because there was one note of truth in analysis–that I was in denial about my own homosexuality–the whole thing became plausible and I destroyed any possibility of a real relationship with my father for the next 30 years. In exchange I got the debilitating transference to Hoffman. 


I don’t remember much about finishing the Process. It really had become a kind of forced march. I do remember that the price of that first group Process was about $300. The real cost was devastating. Instead of dealing with coming out in care of a professional, compassionate therapist, I had the bad luck to land a closeted gay predator as my guide. When I described this incident to my therapist, his immediate response was: when you stayed, he knew he had you. And he did.

___________


My parents arrived in Berkeley just after the semester ended. The plan was to drive back to Connecticut together, spend some time with them, do my annual Jesuit retreat and then return to California. 


There was a kind of ritual for completing your emotional divorce from your parents—after you’d gotten your parents full attention, you just said “I love you,” and kissed them. My parents thought it very strange, but I always followed instructions as closely as possible. No matter how awkward it felt, you had to do it, Hoffman said. It was extremely awkward, but I dutifully followed all Bob’s directions, disregarding my doubts. I even rehearsed the process several times, fearing that there was some piece that I’d miss.


My parents and I drove to southern California and I took my mother to Disneyland which she loved. Then we drove to the Grand Canyon which my dad loved, and continued down through the Southwest. I had planned to spend one night at Brophy Prep, the Jesuit high school in Phoenix, and visit some younger Jesuits whom I’d met and liked very much. I met my friends and disappeared into the Jesuit residence while my parents went to their hotel.


During that whole year, I’d kept a journal detailing my dreams, my work with the Enneagram, all the Fisher-Hoffman work including lengthy lists of what I thought were my parents’ negative traits, writing assignments about early life, with lots of emphasis on the negative memories, imaginary conversations with myself as a child and with my parents as children. It also detailed my coming out, falling in love with a guy named Danny, and my first sexual experiences. None of Hoffman’s psychic therapy made any sense out of context, and it was very personal so much of it made no sense anyway.


When they picked me up in the morning, neither said a word. My mother was driving. She just looked straight ahead, and got on the highway. She was driving very fast. Finally, after a lot of upset and questions, my mother announced that we were going straight home. She’d found the diary that I’d kept during the past year in Berkeley, and read it from beginning to end. She always felt that she had complete authority in my life, so of course she was entitled to access my private life though she said she thought that she’d be reading poetry.


She said that I was sick. She told me that she and my father had decided to send me to a psychiatrist for electric shock therapy, that she called my Jesuit superiors and asked for me to be thrown out. I was stunned. No matter how complete or thorough my personal work, I could never change my parents. 

 

The drive across country was almost unbearable, the interaction with my parents varying from loud anger with my mother, to complete disgust with my father’s silence. We arrived at their home, and I left to see my superiors in Boston. They supported me—I was a 30 year old man, and had not hidden anything from them. But my already strained relationship with my parents entered what would become the new normal for the next 20 years—alternating icy communication interspersed with attempts to restore some civility. It would not change much until each of them approached death.


The life that I’d know for nearly a decade was beginning to fall apart.

___________


When I returned to the Jesuit School of Theology in Berkeley that fall, my superiors and I together decided that I would reconsider ordination. I was not thrown out of the Jesuits, but I stopped any academic work at the seminary, and took a leave of absence. Technically this is called exclaustration, a person with religious vows is allowed to live outside the cloister, or formal religious life. Thus began an extremely difficult period of my life. I loved being a Jesuit. If it weren’t for the obligation of celibacy, I might have been able to carve out a happy and successful career as a priest. 


Another man in Naranjo’s SAT, Hal Slate, and I rented a small apartment on the Berkeley/Oakland border. It was just a short walk from the White Horse, a college-town gay bar which became the place where I was introduced to gay life.


Towards the end of September, Hoffman started to show up at the bar every night around 9 o’clock, leaning awkwardly against the elbow bar, pretending to look off into some distant corner of the universe. I said hello. He tried small talk, claiming that he normally stopped by on his way home. Another lie! He later admitted that he never went to gay bars because being recognized might negatively affect his important work. In reality he was tracking my movements, and making himself known. This is stalking–exactly out of the predator’s playbook.


I recall one conversation in particular which helps me accurately date Hoffman’s obsessive pursuit; it also should have alerted me that he knew exactly what he was doing. Almost in passing, and perhaps as a way of excusing or justifying his behavior, he mentioned that although the usual period for a therapist seeing a patient was 6 months after the professional relationship had ended, he thought that I had so completely and lovingly divorced myself from my parents, perhaps the usual 6 months could be compressed. Misinformation, or perhaps he considered himself above the law. In California, “Therapy Never Includes Sexual Behavior. . . . Sexual contact of any kind between a therapist and a client is unethical and illegal in the State of California. Additionally, with regard to former clients, sexual contact within two years after termination of therapy is also illegal and unethical.”*  Less than 4 months after finishing my work with him, he nervously gave me his “private” phone number, and asked if he could call me.


Finally, I agreed to go out to dinner with him. He imagined it was a date. I really thought it was dinner. I can’t in any way recreate the events or the conversation that ended with him returning to my apartment, but as with many sexual predators, Hoffman’s ability to read his victim, what he would describe as his “psychic powers,” lent themselves to manipulation. He’s been my therapist for almost a year, so he had a real window into my psychology that was far more accurate than his psychic reading. After an extremely awkward series of interactions, a lot of “why don’t we try this?” and “do you like that?” I found myself on the living room floor of my shared apartment with a man I found sexually repulsive, naked, on my stomach, being brutally raped. After Hoffman had his orgasm, my anus was bleeding. 


Then the situation became surreal—I listened to apologies which were actually blame shifting—Hoffman told me that pain was normal when a man first had anal sex and that in time I’d learn to enjoy it—that anal sex was an important part of spiritual development. It mirrored the mother-father god, both active and passive. I remember this statement after all these years because of the horror and lunacy of justifying rape in the name of some intrasex deity. 


I didn’t throw him out as I should have. Everytime I think about this, I ask myself why didn’t I say, “This isn’t working. Why don’t you put on your clothes and leave?” But I just kept my mouth shut and endured him trying to apologize for physically hurting me. When he asked if we could have another date, I did say no. However, in true co-dependent fashion, I left the door open to further contact as friends. I realize now that I had to—I was in transference with him. In fact we maintained a strained acquaintance until he died.


All this happened only 13 months after that cold Tuesday evening when Naranjo introduced Hoffman to our SAT group. I had hoped to avoid a painful and lewd description of the sexual encounter, but I’ve decided to write about it openly, including its repercussions. Including my own missteps is the only possible path I see to freeing myself. If my writing really leads to liberation, “the function of freedom," in the words of Toni Morrison, "is to free someone else.” 


I came out as a gay man in the Hoffman’s Process, but it wasn’t coming to terms with a part of myself that I’d kept hidden, festering under parental and societal disapproval. It wasn’t part of a program of careful analysis. I wasn’t led by a professional to uncover layers of self-deception. Rather I stood uncomfortably in the doorway to Hoffman’s office, while he, red in the face, screamed that I was gay, told me not to play games and that I couldn’t love myself. I sensed the same angry, defensive stance in the way he dealt with his own homosexuality and he certainly displayed its brutality when he forced anal intercourse.


Within a year of our encounter, I’d left the Jesuits, moved to San Francisco with Hal Slate and began experiencing the burgeoning Castro gay scene of the ‘70’s. I became promiscuous, but, at the same time, I was very unhappy and frustrated with sex itself. I could not achieve orgasm. I cannot claim that Hoffman’s brutal abuse was the direct cause of my sexual dysfunction but I am certain that it played some part. But my solution to the problem became more of a problem. As in my college days, alcohol became an antiseptic for the wounds. But now pot, cocaine and eventually methamphetamines, became part of my life. I began to display the classic side effects of sexual abuse.


Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Short Notes on the Enneagram Teaching

Introduction

Easter Sunday 2023
I am not the oldest of Naranjo’s early students still alive although I was born 4 years before Gurdjieff died in Paris. I am also not the wisest nor as well known as some of my peers who went on to carve out careers teaching and developing the system, but I have been in the conversation since a year after Naranjo returned to Berkeley from Arica, and I’ve known most of the major players with the exception of Ichazo. I feel some obligation to write this personal record .

In 1973 I was a Jesuit scholastic coming towards the end of the long rigorous seminary training when I started working with the psychiatrist turned spiritual teacher, Claudio Naranjo. Returning from a transformational experience in Chile, Naranjo’s early work was inspired but by no means perfect. My initial intense study lasted only 4 years, but it set the course for a lifetime of self-examination. The Enneagram and the conversation about the system have been a part of my inner life, and I’ve tried to nurture my personal understanding. I am an Enneagram student, not a teacher.

Over the past twenty years I’ve written about the Enneagram, but I have allowed the system its own logic based on self-remembering, not whether the system originated in an esoteric Sufi order or in Egypt or with the Desert Fathers or Pythagoras. I heard inflated claims that it was part of “The School,” a quasi-mystical group of human beings gathered, by chance, luck or karma, to do the rigorous work of self-exploration for the benefit of all humankind, but that feels like it’s out of the Gnostic playbook, I would prefer to examine this training to see if it can stand the test of time on its own. The Enneagram may not be a spiritual practice with the long and revered history many enthusiasts claim, but I remain convinced that we can actually use it to connect with the numinous mystery of life.

Some friends argue that if we trace its source and pinpoint its origin, we spoil the recipe. All they’re really saying is that some things are better left alone, impossible to figure out, or perhaps present unanswerable questions. I'm certainly not going to discourage self-investigation. In fact I want to encourage it. The Buddhist practice that I’m familiar with teaches that we can unlock real possibility and opportunity when we deal head-on with what are called “hindrances.” The Enneagram is also part of the strong tradition that inner work dictates unflinching self-observation in tracking our thoughts, feelings, memories, and “mental-reactions.” This trains our attention and allows us to see ourselves more clearly. I am thoroughly persuaded by the last option.

Emotions, the depth of the anguish or complete frustration can escape formulation. Sometimes the pain was beyond words, and a lament ultimately serves no purpose. A cry is just a cry. Sometimes my memory of these experiences ring with the unexpected noise of someone breaking down a door in the hall for no rational reason. Events or people with whom I had no more than a tangential relationship rupture and the debris spreads. We label it senseless. We label it nonsense but something inside still hangs on. The question that I’ve been trying to deal with is why people believe nonsense? Or more importantly why did I believe nonsense?

Echoing one of his teaching models, G.I. Gurdjieff, Naranjo called the missteps, even tragedies that befell some participants “food for the moon” as if they were just collateral damage of important work, an unfortunate, perhaps even necessary side effect of intense self-investigation. I don't hesitate to use another term—exploitation. Each one of us only sees part of the picture. One person’s poison is another’s antidote, but ethics demand that we label poison as poison, or at least with the clear warning “Take at your own risk.”

We each have our own views and I do not represent anyone other than myself. However I opt for being as honest as I can no matter the cost. The alternative is allowing the kind of introspection that we are invited to by careful study of the Enneagram to become as worthless as the astrology column on the back page of the local news rag or perhaps a 600 word article in Psychology Today.

I want my account is honest, even brutally honest if need be, but I am not even sure if that is possible. I have thoroughly researched and verified facts and names, dates and records of the incidents when available. I have not embellished them. However the story does not easily fit the usual chronology or conventions of a narrative. Words stagger between fact and poetry. They feel like an approximation that does not match the experience. The blur does not capture the beauty or the power that was present even if just for a moment. Parts of the story are difficult to tell. For more than 50 years, I’ve cycled through bouts of depression and spurts of creativity, crippling relationships and love, drug dependency and spiritual infatuations, dedication to hard work on worthwhile projects and hating my job, years of relative freedom from money issues followed by just making ends meet. The reader can take this as background material, use it to disqualify me, or applaud me for still being here. It makes no difference. It is just part of a story.

Is there a way of setting these parochial arguments aside and rescuing the system as a powerful adjunct in the difficult undertaking of introspection? I suppose that I first have to answer the question about what was lost, and whether or not there is anything of value worth saving. Naranjo always warned that the wide dissemination of the system would dilute its power.

People in Naranjo’s groups always referred to Naranjo as Claudio. I never heard anyone call him Dr. Naranjo. We called him by his name in our interactions and conversations within the group. His teaching style was not at all formal. Now that he is no longer with us however, I chose to use Naranjo. We are talking about his work and legacy. By the same token, George Ivanovich Gurdjeiff is usually referred to either as G or Mr. Gurdjieff by his students as a mark of respect verging on homage due a Saint. I have decided to use only his family name.

Naranjo was quite exacting with his students about how we could use the information and teaching in our own writing or work with clients. As I said, I am not an Enneagram teacher nor do I work with students. I no longer consider myself bound by verbal promises I made to him either as a member of SAT or during our private conversations when he was alive.

When I quote friends or Naranjo’s other students, I will try to refer to their actual written word. That is not always possible. Especially in describing my long friendship with Bob Ochs, I have no written records, only my faulty memory adjusted by love and admiration.

I’m also looking from afar. Many of these experiences happened a long time ago. With the passage of time comes a softening of the harsh edges. It becomes difficult to separate hard inner work that had to be done and the natural flow of life.

I have been taken to task by several friends from that era for my criticism. A very close personal friend who was also a close associate of Naranjo still wants to take sides in the debate. For her there is a lot at stake in terms of Naranjo’s reputation. She feels that the difficult work of introspection is hindered by exposing the vociferous debates that litter the terrain. I know that I cannot possibly remain neutral, and I will not choke down my criticism.

When I examine some of the thorny parts of the controversy between Ichazo, Naranjo and Palmer, I will reference the 1992 legal ruling by US Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit for relevant information. I assume that, for the most part, statements under oath will be as close to the truth as we need to be.

Is there any truth to any of this? I don’t even know if we share any common ground. Have we asked similar questions about our lives? Have we been happy? And I mean really happy, not some drunken free-for-all where you trample the concerns of your heart in a sacred dance and a magic fire lifts the gloom of the burdens we share. That’s what emotional religion sells. I want nothing to do with it, but ordinary human experience seems to dictate words that ignite, flame and confuse.


Naranjo’s Enneagram

photo Alessandra Callegari 
Claudio Naranjo Cohen died on July 12th, 2019; Óscar Ichazo died March 26th, 2020, less than a year later; Claudio’s associate Rezeleah Landman Schaeffer has left us though I can find no obituary; the Jesuit father Bob Ochs died on May 4th, 2018. The only teachers and leaders still alive from the early history of Naranjo’s SAT are Hameed Ali; Kathy Speeth who told her story of sitting in Gurdjieff’s knee when she was a young child no longer teaches publicly; Helen Palmer who traces her “narrative tradition” to Naranjo retired in August of 2020. These were the men and women who first introduced the Enneagram in the West. By and large the teaching is now in the hands of a second generation of teachers and scholars.


The Enneagram that we’ve come to know in the West begins with Ichazo’s first Arica Training in 1971, but people look far, wide and deep into the past for esoteric origins. The figure appears in the works of Gurdjieff and his students; it may also appear in the texts of an esoteric Sufi Order though I have not seen it; some claim it’s also found in Pythagoras, or carefully drawn figures in an almanac compiled by an obscure 16th century Jesuit, Athanasius Kircher; someone even said Ichazo discovered it when a book dropped from a shelf in an occult library in Bolivia and a page fell open. This kind of history is just homemade mythology based on stories from hearsay or anecdotal evidence. 


Mr. James Moore, an authorized Gurdjieff teacher, says “Analogically Ichazo’s enneagram is to Gurdjieff’s what the New Guinea cargo-cults are to aviation.” Most teachers of the modern Enneagram try to trace its origin back to a Sufi school, or more precisely, to an extension or fulfillment of an oral or hidden teaching they want to find in the esotericism of The Fourth Way. These claims lack any evidence. There is no urtext anyone can point to. The actual text that the modern Enneagram work comes from are the notes that Oscar Ichazo used with the first group of Esalen pioneers who in 1971 went with Claudio Naranjo and John Lilly to Arica, Chile. This small port and beach town is surrounded by the forbidding Atacama Desert. It was once part of Peru and closer to Ichazo’s native Bolivia than Santiago. When Chile defeated Bolivia and Peru in La Guerra del salitre, the Saltpeter War in the late 1800’s, both countries lost this coastline. Later Chile and Peru set Arica as the northernmost town in Chile, but Bolivia, the odd man out, remains landlocked to this day. Another odd artifact in Arica is a cathedral of metal and wood, an import of uncertain authenticity, allegedly designed by Gustave Eiffel, shipped from France in 1875 and assembled in 1876 at lighting speed.


I will argue that anything we can know with certainty about the Enneagram has happened within the last six decades, and it is all we need to know. It can also be documented if we sift out the parochialism. We don’t need to know about the origin of the system to experience its power. In fact it might be a distraction and a misdirection. However this speculation has some bearing on the current landscape of Enneagram teaching. A friend forwarded an email promotion for a course by an Enneagram teacher who promises to unlock its radical teaching by returning to the “original intent.” I'm skeptical. Are these third generation experts going back to Naranjo’s characterization of the nine types, or Ichazo’s prototyping which is notably different, or the myth of an esoteric Sufi circle, or the inconclusive evidence that it lay hidden in Gurdjieff’s teaching, or William Patterson’s tracing the system back to ancient Egypt. I challenge any of these teachers to reveal the original intent in a rigorous way. If they were just trying to distinguish themselves from Enneagram parlor games, I might be more generous, but “a radical approach of the true spirit” or “original intent” are just a sales pitch.


Dr. Aubrey Lindgren, who was in Naranjo’s first SAT group, has tried to unwrap the Enneagram, particularly the Enneagram of Fixations, for a Western audience steeped in the language of psychotherapy.* She asks why so little has been written about those early days? Her answer is  “To realize the full impact of the teachings, we have to hold the container in silence. A silence that is both inside our own minds, as in not forming concepts about transformation, and outside, as in not discussing the material presented. It is a disservice to the public to hear about a theory without the full understanding and guidance as to how to effectively apply these ideas to your life.” 


Every gnostic group wants to keep their secrets secret. They need to hide something or hint at secret knowledge that will cost money. The esoteric argument always relies on the thesis that the careful inner work of introspection is too difficult for a mass audience. While I appreciate the caution about doing inner work, as far as the Enneagram is concerned, the cat’s out of the bag. If the Enneagram ever was an esoteric teaching, it has crossed over into popular culture, at worst mimicking astrology or at best being an adjunct to the techniques of psychotherapy.


The audience for the modern Enneagram teachings might have reached a saturation point so get the copy editors to create some interest. After Naranjo and Ichazo took separate paths, after the wave of Enneagram studies and practice manuals and other writing, more than 150 books since 1990, and the proliferation of study groups, seminars and trainings, the rivalry between the various schools became a battleground. I have no pony in that race. I do not earn my living or claim booty fighting on one side or the other which is not to say that I have not spent, lost and earned in my struggles.


As I undertake to write a personal account, I find it difficult to sort out the details of my personal story, but given the language and the inner discipline required, it’s also the story of passing a teaching from one culture to another, from the East to the West, from an alleged mystical Sufi source to a group of Christian practitioners, from spiritual practice to psychological investigation, from an oral tradition to one that employs books and written lists of personal traits and characteristics. Such a complex transmission opens itself at best to honest differences and interpretations. At its worst, it breeds parochial infighting, condemnation and closed-mindedness. Thank God burning heretics at the stake has fallen out of favor. 


The lack of clarity adds fuel to the Enneagram controversy and arms its detractors. I will try to be non-judgmental, and only speak about people and events about which I have first hand knowledge. My comments do not pretend to be definitive statements about any specific approach or understanding of the system. I’ll leave discussion about typing or proto-analysis to those who specialize in Enneagram studies. However some comment and analysis may be necessary to map out the early history of the Enneagram. If we trust ourselves and follow our best instincts, there is something very useful about argument and debate. They point to useful paths for an individual.


*“The Enneagram Monthly,” October 2021 edition.



Who I was


It was 1972. I was a 28 year old Jesuit scholastic, bright, enthusiastic, inquisitive and, to most observers, engaged in my life. I had been in the Order for almost 7 years, completing my initial spiritual trail or novitiate, the philosophical requirement, a period of study at the Harvard Graduate School of Design and my first year of theological training. I loved the Jesuits and had done well in the rigorous course of study. I was certainly accepted and encouraged by fellow Jesuits and superiors. 


I also had a reputation of being a rebel. In the early days after Vatican 2, there was a lot of experimentation. It’s remarkable that I was never “called in.” The Jesuits have a special oath of obedience—to the Pope, or the Father General, and by extension, your immediate superior. When he says do it, it’s done. Te vult was a note that appeared in your box. It translates as “He wants [to see you].” It usually meant that you were in trouble. You’d been found out, or someone had turned you in for an infraction of one of the religious vows. Despite always testing the edges, I escaped censure.


I had invested a lot in getting to that point in my life. I had submitted a rigorous and intellectual discipline and built a tough defense system around what I thought was a pretty well reasoned personal sense of purpose. But despite my liberal Ivy League education, despite being a member of the Jesuit elite, I lived in a straight-jacketed Catholic world. Despite being known as a kind of rebel among the younger Jesuits, I was frustrated and unhappy. I also knew that I needed psychological help. 


I didn’t hide my deepest feelings from my religious superiors, including my struggles. All my superiors were generous and understanding, and tried to help in whatever way they could. I had been in therapy for a short time, but the result only put me in a huge dilemma: I knew I was gay but denied it; I wanted to experience intimacy in my life, and I wanted to have a spiritual life, but the prospect of a lifetime of celibacy seemed more and more like a chain rather than a path to fulfillment. 

___________


It was an uncomfortable night, so muggy that people couldn’t sleep. It had been very hot all day. When the sun went down, it did get cooler, but everyone’s windows stayed wide open. The streets were always noisy anyway, but the level of the day’s frustration lingered. The malaise seemed widespread.. A lady further up 102nd was shouting “Shut the fuck up” out of her window at the top of her lungs. It was past 1 AM. She’d been shouting all week. I didn’t even bother going to bed. I’d actually given up trying to sleep weeks earlier. Humidity, heat and insomnia are not good bedfellows. If you’ve ever lived in New York without air conditioning, you will remember nights like this. 


I was finishing my first year of theological school. I was living in a large, sprawling apartment in New York’s Upper West Side with a group of seven other Jesuit seminarians and Father Avery Dulles. We walked up to 116th Street where Woodstock College, perhaps the most prestigious institution of the American Jesuit order, had just relocated from rural Pennsylvania and become part of an ecumenical consortium. The Second Vatican Council had finished their work in 1965. Several liberal Jesuits from Woodstock, notably John Courtney Murray and Gustave Weigle, had been instrumental in writing the documents that would open up the Catholic Church. Those were heady days. It felt good to be part of creating a modern Catholic Church. We were taking stuffy Thomistic theology out of its ivory tower where it defended doctrinal pronouncements coming out of Rome. We were a Jesuit institution with a 500 year old academic and spiritual legacy but in the vision of Pope John the 23rd, we would breathe new life in the Church. 


I was up late into the night painting a wall mural in the kitchen. A visiting scholastic from Chicago, Bob Partika, couldn’t sleep either. He wandered into the kitchen for a snack, and we began a rambling conversation that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. Partika talked about a young priest named Bob Ochs who had  been teaching a nine pointed diagram that described personality types. He described some exercises aimed at intense self-scrutiny allowing for some kind self-understanding based on what he called fixations. My new friend had experienced a real sense of liberation, and I could sense it. Finally, almost to give the story the real feel of human life, he told a story about the last session of the group where everyone, men and women, lay and religious, took off their clothes. He assured me that it was not at all sexual, that the nuns carefully folded their habits and laid them down on their chairs almost reverentially. I was stunned.


My scholastic friend told me that Ochs would be offering this Enneagram course at the Jesuit Theological School in Berkeley California where he was part of a group led by a Chilean psychiatrist named Claudio Naranjo. In September, Naranjo’s group would also work with a man who had discovered an innovative process to resolve the conflicts of early childhood experience.


The very next morning I called my superior in Boston and asked for permission to transfer to the Jesuit School in Berkeley. After a few questions, he agreed—actually he was enthusiastic—and asked me to call the Jesuit School in Berkeley to see if I could be admitted. Berkeley said that they would take me as a special student. They had no room for me in the Jesuit community but they found a small off campus room at the American Baptist Seminary of the West. Things fell into place so quickly and smoothly that I felt the Universe, or the Holy Spirit, was guiding me.  


Within 10 days I was sharing a ride across the country with a complete stranger from Brooklyn. When I got to Berkeley I called Ochs to introduce myself, and then in a completely flat tone—I have no idea why I remember that—he asked, “Why don’t you join the group?” It had never occurred to me, but I’d just driven across the country in a headlong, desperate search to discover something about myself so I called the number he gave me. Rosalyn Shaffer answered the phone and told me—again her tone was flat—to be at an address on Hearst Avenue at 7 PM sharp on Tuesday night. That started four years of work with Naranjo. 


I was not unique among young seminarians of my generation in feeling that conventional religious practice had failed me. I had come to Berkeley to work with a Jesuit priest, a man who I hoped might introduce me to a psychological understanding of myself that would help thread the needle. Would a fellow Jesuit lead me down a dead end?  In retrospect I was desperately looking for a way out.  Doctrinal formulations are not about jumping from a hundred foot pole, Kierkegaard’s leap of faith without a safety net. I was in the midst of the personal crisis but barely aware of it.  This was a real “Hail Mary,” 


By the beginning of that next summer, my life would be radically changed.



Seekers After Truth, the first groups

The San Andreas Fault runs through the heart of San Francisco at a depth of more than 15 km. Across the Bay, the Hayward Fault lies only a few hundred meters from the ramshackle fraternity house in Berkeley where Claudio Naranjo held the first meetings of his group, The Seekers After Truth. About 100 km south at the bottom of the San Francisco Bay seismologists have pinpointed a “deep junction” where the North American Plate collides with the Pacific Plate. Dedicated geomancers claim that they can chart a shift in consciousness by tracking the slow, relentless, unpredictable movement of tectonic plates as if this flood of psychological and spiritual insights were a revelation from an other-worldly source. I contend that there were other forces at work, not perhaps so deeply hidden beneath the surface as the fault lines, but certainly not observable with eyes that casually scan the horizon. 


If I can set aside my internal argument and position myself in a reasonably balanced way, I see the convergence of many factors in the awakening of this New Age in California. Who we were had as much to do with this psychological revolution as the actual encounter with eastern spirituality, imported myths, learning seated meditation of Zen or tai chi, est and Scientology, Fritz Perls’s Gestalt, Ouspensky’s Gurdjeiff and Óscar Ichazo’s Arica. For me it even included the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius. 


Stories of discovery and the invention of ideas shape both our culture and our lives. Told and retold, details elaborated and distorted, they become myths. Some of these tales are obviously self-serving while others ring of real experience. In either case, filled with many assumptions, obvious and hidden, they are rich in information. 


One current version of the beginnings of the Western transmission of the Enneagram runs something like this: in the early 1970’s, Claudio Naranjo, fresh from his short and incomplete training with Oscar Ichazo in Arica Chile, begins a tentative conversation with a select group of therapists and teachers in a Berkeley living room. He distributes crudely mimeographed nine pointed figures to experienced self-observers and professional therapists to flesh out the sketchy outline of personality characteristics that Ichazo had developed for each point. These highly trained psychologists and teachers set about the task of connecting Naranjo's and Ichazo’s fragmentary notes with peer reviewed psychological research and reliable diagnostic instruments.


There are only two facts in this myth. Naranjo did return to Berkeley after working with Ichazo in Chile, and there were rather rudimentary descriptions of the nine fixations on mimeographed paper that people used as outlines for their own notes. But after that this particular creation story departs from any description of the real work of Naranjo’s groups and, I might venture, becomes an invitation for the therapist’s students to pay money and join an Enneagram group with psychological theories and clinical diagnosis. 


Here is what we can say with certainty: the Bolivian teacher Óscar Ichazo was the first person that we know who taught the psychological-spiritual system of the nine pointed figure. He called it the Enneagon. His talks about what he called “protoanalysis” at the Instituto de Psicologia Aplicada (Santiago) in 1969 were where Naranjo first made contact with Ichazo and the system. Later in 1970 Naranjo and John Lilly with approximately 35 other people recruited from Esalen went to Arica Chile for Ichazo’s first training. When Naranjo returned to Berkeley, he began his own investigation of what he termed the Enneagram of Fixations. 


Naranjo’s SAT began in the Fall of 1971 with about 25 people. SAT stood for the Seekers After Truth, a name Naranjo borrowed from G.I. Gurdjieff’s Meetings with Remarkable Men. By the end of the second year, the number of people in SAT ranged between 50 to 60. We came from all walks of life; there were several psychologists, a Jesuit priest, a Franciscan Friar, one seminarian, one former nun, a devotee of Swami Rudrananda, a rabbi’s wife, a woman who’d been associated with the Gurdjieff Foundation; several professors and Phd’s, two medical doctors, school teachers, at least one lawyer, more than a handful of psychology graduate students, body workers, therapists, a film-maker, a martial artist, a C-level New York fashion executive, Ravi Shankar’s mother-in-law, one professional journalist, a talented product designer and a film distributor, but there were also carpenters, house painters and a French hippie. We were a cross section of highly educated, college town Berkeleyites, predominately white, middle class, a large proportion of Jews, one Muslim, a few queer people, and a few Asians. The membership included Hameed Ali who became a well-known second generation Enneagram teacher, the transpersonal scholar Charlie Tart as well as my friend Father Bob Ochs who became pivotal in the spreading of the Enneagram beyond Naranjo’s groups.. 


I found myself in a far different group than the Arica pioneers I met from Esalen. We were younger spiritual idealists of the 60’s generation. We had for the most part deserted the faiths of our collective fathers and mothers, but we still held strongly to the idea that spiritual practice could overcome the ills of a society that was becoming increasingly materialistic and egocentric, aggressive and greedy. Our parents' generation had nearly destroyed the world in a war ended by nuclear destruction, dreams of peace became a Cold War and our relatively peaceful world was torn apart by the horror of a post colonial civil war in Vietnam. No one I knew who’d self-selected out to join SAT felt any commitment to fight other human beings.


Most of therapists had reached a dead-end with the enterprise of professional psychotherapy, the hippies were burned out on the drug exploration, but were still seeking after the promises of the sexual revolution. Nearly everyone at least pretended to be liberated in attitudes towards sex and drugs. Sex was casual; the lines of demarcation between abuse and pleasure were blurred. Drug experimentation was almost a requirement. Smoking weed was an everyday necessity for many. Weekend hallucinogenic trips were common. 


I was about to step out of the strict Jesuit religious training that had been honed and ossified by at least 30 generations of Jesuits since Saint Ignatius. That tradition had produced more than its share of scholars and saints. Its discipline was legendary as well as its reputation for being a vanguard, the cutting edge of the institutional Church. I was the second Jesuit to become a member of SAT, not to convert but to test my own experience. 



I begin learning to use the Enneagram.

I will violate my self-imposed rule of calling the early enneagram teachers by their last names. Father Bob Ochs became my friend, even a close friend in the cautious, somewhat tentative emotional way that religious men and women form friendships. I owe him a huge debt of gratitude: With his guidance I discovered a path probably cut off for this young Jesuit. The reforms of Vatican II had relaxed that grip, but they were not the leap required to enter the spiritual path. I was discouraged as I witnessed the spiritual enthusiasm of Council ebb when political pressure mounted and tried to reign in its driving force. 


The first thing I noticed about Bob was the bright glean in his eyes and his animated voice. He was a very engaging teacher who loved to laugh. Bob was not a big man physically. His wiry frame seemed constantly in motion, arms and hands pointing looked like the antennae for his attention that wasn’t quite sure where to land. He was a remarkable and courageous human who never gave up exploring and questioning..


Bob was also a Jesuit through and through with outstanding theological credentials. He had trained at Université Catholique de Louvain, Jesuitenkolleg in Innsbruck, and was awarded a PhD. in Theology from Institut Catholique de Paris in 1969. He was dedicated to the work of spiritual revolution in the spirit of Vatican II, but his emphasis was not strictly theological as you can tell by the titles of the books he wrote early in his career: The Death in Every Now (1969) and God is More Present Than You Think (1970).


Bob had been working with Naranjo in the first SAT group. His intellectual and spiritual gifts were a good match for Naranjo. I was not the first Jesuit that Bob introduced to the Enneagram. Under Naranjo’s direction Bob began teaching the Enneagram to a group of his former students at Loyola University in Chicago. In 1972 he was going to offer his introduction to the Enneagram at the Jesuit School in Berkeley. Although he was working as Naranjo’s agent, Bob brought his own passion to the work. It was no polite intellectual exercise. It was spiritual in the deepest sense of the word.. 


I was sitting on the floor of a large open room in one of the buildings at the Jesuit School when Bob said with a chuckle that the origin of the Enneagram Teaching might have been the esoteric school that trained Jesus. Bob was not certainly not given to blind faith or superstition, but this assertion is as unsupported as the claim that during Jesus’s lost years, the time between when he stood up and amazed the synagogue elders and his baptism by John, he was initiated and trained by an Indian guru. Yet not one person in the room challenged it, myself included. Bob then repeated the Tibetan oracle that "when the iron bird flies,” the Dharma will come to the West. This was only 14 years after His Holiness the Dalai Lama fled Lhasa in disguise as the People’s Liberation Army marched towards the Potala Palace. 


But setting aside the otherworldly language and extravagant claims of New Age spirituality, most of us who were drawn to spiritual practice that demands something more than sitting in a church pew and forking over some cash come from a place of experiencing personal pain—sometimes excruciating and seemingly inexplicable. Certainly that was where I was even if I didn’t fully acknowledge it. I didn’t feel any magic in the New Age hype, and I am still no fan of Nostradamus style pronouncements, but I was seeking a remedy, and if I had to learn a new language, I was willing to try.


Bob’s teaching was also rooted in the spirituality of Saint Ignatius Loyola. As a Jesuit novice I’d been trained in the exercise known as the Particular Examen: three times a day, for 15 minutes, I would just note how many times I’d broken the rule of silence, when I’d had stray thoughts, where I’d neglected to keep “custody of the senses.” After taking inventory, I was instructed to generate compunction, and resolve to avoid specific thoughts or actions—avoiding sin and the occasions of sin were the way towards self-perfection.


Bob talked about the Examen that first night, but his adaptation was more nuanced and seemed more sophisticated than Ignatius'. He asked us to try to experience the feelings in our body as we looked over our day—How did we feel in our bodies when we got up in the morning? Did we smell the stew we cooked? What attitude did we bring to our study, did we notice the way we held the book in our hands, even how we felt when we used the toilet?


In a letter that I sent to Father Paul Lucy, who was my direct Jesuit superior, I wrote, “If this is not what Father Ignatius intended in the Examen, it’s what he should have intended.” We have to train ourselves to feel directly, not after-the-fact judgment or analysis. To be present at the moment when we feel, see and act is not something that we do naturally, or if we do as children, we soon learn to forget it. The exercise of trying to catch the immediacy of experience is closer to what I would learn later Gurdjieff taught about self-remembering: “it is to know you are angry when you are angry.” Gurdjieff  also described the practice with an admonition: “You do not remember yourselves. You do not feel yourselves, you are not conscious of yourselves. You do not feel: I observe, I feel, I see.’”


During these first few months I also learned to meditate in formal posture, breath-centered forms of concentration. I experienced the difficulty of sitting for long periods, taking the time required for the work of taking personal inventory. In mindfulness practice, at least as we know it from the Theravadan tradition, there was, I thought, the promise of clearing of the senses and mind as you simply experience your body and breath. But “self-remembering” is different from my understanding of mindfulness: just paying attention with no promise of it disappearing.


To ease the Enneagram into a Catholic/Christian context, Bob began with a kind of rift on Nine Deadly Sins—traditionally the list contains only seven: Pride, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy, Lust and Greed. Stretching the definition of Envy to include Melancholy, and then adding Lying and Fear, we have the nine points of the Enneagram. But here’s where it gets dicey. None of the Enneagram “sins'' actually describe deeds.


Christians do not have a big issue with using pain in spiritual work—in fact they relish it—but it is seen as the result of sin, not blindness or ignorance as it is seen in most Asian traditions. . In 1998, the US Catholic bishops warned about using the Enneagram, They decreed, "sin is indeed unhealthy behavior and can be combated by an improved understanding, but it is at its root a moral problem, so that repentance before God and one’s neighbor must be the fundamental response. Enneagram teaching thus obscures the Christian understanding of sin." Human nature is basically sinful. Acts in violation of the expressed will of the Deity require repentance. To save yourself, follow the rules; this leads to redemption which in turn leads to salvation. This is the catechism that I learned as an Irish Catholic boy.


“Sin is unhealthy behavior”—get the memo out to the Garden before Eve falls under the serpent’s spell and all hell breaks loose. The work of the Enneagram sees liberation as a struggle against ignorance, blindness, and greed, cowardice, laziness and exaggeration which in themselves are not sinful. At the Jesuit School Bob taught that the fixations are a hindrance rather than a reflection of fallen human nature. He said many times that ideas themselves when coupled with a solid inner practice could change a person’s attitude and actions. And his conviction was, I feel, the intersection where the inspiration of Ignatius’s Spiritual Exercises, particularly the identification of what Ignatius called the “chief fault” and connecting it to the Enneagram’s work of identifying one’s fixation.


He opened the investigation with a question: Is the way we distort the world the root of our negative behaviors? Each of the 9 points was the point of entry for an extended meditation on the nature of ego fixation. In the Spiritual Exercises the first meditation is what Ignatius calls I will quote one sentence from what Ignatius calls “The Principle and Foundation:” . . . it follows that we are to use the things of this world only to the extent that they help us to this end (the praise reverence and service of God), and we ought to rid ourselves of the things of this world to the extent that they get in the way of this end.” Before we examined our own Ego-Fixation, we were encouraged to look at the nature of spiritual hindrances central to the Enneagram in detail, weeks long meditations on points 9, 3, and 6. We explored how the major anchors of all nine fixations, sloth, lying and fear, were present in all our actions.


Bob's teaching was very present—methodical, meticulous and exacting. He took us through the types and subtypes in an orderly way, using the material that Naranjo had given the first SAT groups, and, in an exploratory way, tried to “type” each of us. Although we tried to type ourselves as part of the discipline of learning the system, Bob, like Naranjo, did not hesitate to point out a good place to begin the exploration.


He asked questions. He might say, “Ah that sounds like something a Six might say. Why don’t you look and see if fear might be the motivator? Just explore it. Trace it back. Look for other places in your life where fear might be operative.” He was colloquial. As each of us began to understand the system and see similarities in our own behaviors with various points, Bob would ask us to “say a little more.” He was always gentle and good humored, never harsh or demeaning. I remember when he asked a meticulous nun not to comb her hair for a week and report back on how she felt. Although it drove her nuts, she loved the laughs as she shared in an entirely authentic and revealing way.


Bob asked us time and again to focus attention on those places where we know we hurt but are blind to the source of our pain. I experienced a growing recognition of my own pain. That was the place in our psyche to explore our connection to the vast mystery of the universe. Bob was committed to helping ease suffering. He highlighted the practices of meditation, particularly the examen, and meditation on humility, tools Saint Ignatius outlined in his Spiritual Exercises.


Bob’s foundation in the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius is what I call “The Jesuit Transmission of the Enneagram.” I felt very much at home.



I am not Ego Plan, but I learned to act the role,

When Bob began to help me identify my personal fixation, he pointed to Point Seven, Ego Plan, or Gluttony. Gluttony of the mind is clinically defined as the pull toward an array of interesting possibilities. It's just the pull. It never goes away. It is never satisfied. The promise of these possibilities remains abstract because the Plan does not really engage with them. My rebellious streak found this amusing, I could make hedonism a Christian virtue, like a bright colored Pachinko ball bouncing from adventure to opera to gourmet meal to saving the world.


I learned an important lesson: the Enneagram’s typology demonstrates that my responses, my solutions, my way of framing the world which I imagined were quirky and idiosyncratic did not in any way make me unique. On the surface the textbook description of Ego Plan matched how I handled the tricky situations in life, always planning what to do, creating a fantasy action plan, but never fully satisfying the conditions for success, I would always be disappointed with the outcome. I would be concerned with manipulating the present to create a perfect future, the fulfillment of my ideals. But it also predicted that no sooner had that future become present than I would be disappointed and feel a compulsion to work towards a new, perhaps more perfectly tuned version of the ideal. 


The passion of gluttony is the emotional energy that fuels the fixation and its trap of idealism. The Plan says, "Why get mired in boredom or discomfort when pleasurable alternatives are available?" But running after experiences that are never satisfying masks the pain of not being able to touch the emotional core of an experience. Plans are perhaps the most heady of all the fixations because they are so disconnected from their feelings. That trait is key to a correct diagnosis.


Could Ego Plan provide a plausible explanation why I abandoned architecture for the promise of theology and the priesthood. Was it simply the dream of greener pastures? Was my fixation the reason that in the Jesuits I was known as a Gourmet Gourmand? Did Plan get to the root of the inspiration for all my artistic projects that I thought made me interesting and attractive? Did being a Plan predispose me to bi-sexuality? I was warned that Plans had such bad attention that they were prone to having traffic accidents. I didn’t think of myself as a bad driver, but I began to have my doubts. I did crash into a tree driving myself home from school in my last year in Preparatory school.


What also convinced nearly everyone that I was an Ego Plan was the easy way I dismissed troubling situations, brushing them off with a light laugh or some off handed remark. Naranjo one said in the group, “Hear that tone in Ken’s voice, trying to reassure himself that everything is OK.”:Then he said that if I could achieve sobriety for just one minute, I would be enlightened.


Key to understanding gluttony as a passion was its relation to fear, Point Six. Cowardice, is the most jittery of the points on the Enneagram, Nothing is ever enough. There is no security, no peace, no real friends, no confidence. This fed my seriously low self-esteem, and I thought that the care was settled. All data points of the diagnosis fell into place. I was Ego Plan. In my self understanding I would view the world as a Glutton for the next 30 years.



Naranjo was not “The Teacher of the Age.”

The same week that I began my formal seminary courses at the Jesuit School of Theology, I also started attending three to three and a half hour SAT meetings twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday nights. We were told that in the Sufi tradition these were shock points where our work of self-observation could produce real results.  


While the setup had the marks of a cultist framework, I didn’t look on Naranjo as a guru. I was so wary of being branded as a Moonie that I only allowed myself to think of him as an extraordinary professor—certainly not an enlightened being, an avatar or the Teacher of the Age. However I quickly became aware that he’d had a profound insight working with Óscar Ichazo, perhaps even an enlightenment experience that tied together long years of study and psychological investigation. I actually felt honored to be present while he unpacked that inspiration. 


Naranjo’s unpacking of his experience was not an orderly process. Bringing something new into existence is by its nature messy. Naranjo was simultaneously experimenting with the method of delivery while fleshing out his insight into the Enneagram. Some might date the introduction of the modern Enneagram movement when Ichazo organized that first training in Chile. I prefer to date it when Naranjo returned to Berkeley with his experience, and, according to the complaint filed by Ichazo’s attorneys in their lawsuit against Palmer, the only copy of Ichazo’s extensive notes not returned to Ichazo at the completion of the first Arica training. 


In SAT, Naranjo would work with individuals to determine their fixation, and then with a mixture of therapeutic tools and self-observation, we began to see how the information unfolded in our lives. We were fleshing out the personality of the Enneagram. There were no tablets inscribed with a set of rules that we had to follow in order to be healed or fulfilled. The Enneagram is not a religion of revealed truth nor did a guru direct the path to enlightenment.


In addition to Naranjo’s presentations, some rather basic lists of the characteristics for each fixation as well as a few pages from Ichazo’s Proto Analysis were circulated. In addition we all kept our own notes and we compared notes. Detailed notes were highly regarded, and there were several meticulous recorders. I mention these notes because they became the basis of the wider study of the Enneagram to the New Age audience who began to work with Palmer as well as the small group of Jesuits and other religious who studied the Enneagram in Chicago with Ochs. 


We also promised not to speak about the Enneagram outside the group primarily because confidentiality is integral to self-discovery. We promised not to use certain ‘teachings’ until we’d received permission from Naranjo. This was mainly intended for work that we would do with others, although, in some instances, that promise included our private conversations with group members. The initial intent was not to protect materials and income as intellectual property, but it did set the stage for later lawsuits.


Naranjo was type Five, what Ichazo labeled “Stinge.” Ichazo says that for this fixation “life is fascinating to watch from a safe hidden place, but is much too terrifying to take part in.” It would seem nearly impossible for a Stinge to actually step into the public role of a teacher or group leader, but Naranjo did lead. However I always felt in him a hesitancy to engage with a larger group. He was more at ease in the defined circumstances of working individually or with a smaller subset of his students. Ironically his chosen profession required a level of personal engagement although it was also a professional requirement to remain as unemotional and objective as possible. Ichazo pins the trap of the Stinge as getting caught as the “Observer.” Maybe starting SAT was Naranjo’s act of courage to venture into the heart of the storm.


I thought that it was difficult for Naranjo to take center stage. Over the course of those first weeks and months, I noticed that Naranjo seemed to appear and then quickly disappear. He relied on representatives to deliver what he called “indications.” At first Rezeleah Schaeffer and later Kathy Speeth would meet with the group and deliver a set of instructions for group and personal work. Naranjo might appear for an hour or so. He would work with an individual or observe, but sometimes he would talk about one of the fixations, or reflect on some particular point of meditation practice. He told or retold stories about Gurdjieff, Idries Shah or Mulla Nasreddin Hodja. To my recollection, his comments seemed to be equally divided between talking about the Enneagram and the techniques of meditation, self-reflection, introspection, or as Gurdjieff described it, Self-Remembering. 


A messy process has its own hidden dangers. We were only a few years removed from the hippie Summer of Love in the Haight-Ashbury. We were ready, willing, even eager for what we imagined to be the shock of Eastern spiritual practice. We were also terribly naive. At times our work together became a circus. There was a dark side. Marred by his paranoia and personal experience of trauma, Naranjo veered into womanizing, drug experimentation, or relying on psychic messages from an unseen world, and his work turned dangerous, destructive, even deadly.


We called Naranjo’s house on Allston Way the harem. It was off limits to most of the group. His former wife, her daughter as well as several other women in the group lived there. Although Naranjo never directed anyone to have sex with another group member—it would have interfered with his position of being an objective observer—he didn’t set any limits or guidelines. As a matter of fact no one said much about sex other than gossip. As a result basic ethics surrounding sexual manipulation or exploitation in a group setting were just not present. 


Naranjo also used drugs. He’s spoken about it openly, even written about his experiences so I am disclosing a dirty secret. The use of LSD, MDMA, hallucinogens, and plant based narcotics was widespread. There was only one exercise where LSD was recommended though not required, but the general ethos was one of open experimentation. I use experimentation loosely. There were no controls as might be expected in a professional setting. There was no debriefing after a tripping. My personal view is that drug use became a real problem and was one of the factors that led to the end of the first SAT groups.


Though troublesome, this dark side does not discount the value of the work that we managed to accomplish—in a way some of the more thorny issues were part of that training. However the side-effects persist. In my view we cannot allow them to stay in the shadows, or sweep them under the rug. If we purge them from our telling the history of this period, we are just not being honest.


By 1976 Naranjo began to withdraw from teaching the Enneagram. He retired from teaching SAT and took a position at the University of California Santa Cruz. Others with more personal knowledge can comment or speculate on his motivation. My sense is that the initial work had been exhausting, that the inspired impulse of his Arica experience had petered out and drained him personally. Some speculate that his drug experimentation had taken a toll which from my observation  is a strong possibility. One member of the first group told me that much of his distress stemmed from the end of his intimate relationship with Kathy Speeth. All these are possible scenarios. 


I do know from my conversations with him that he was apprehensive about the possible distortion of the Enneagram after his course materials had been released to a wider audience. It is difficult for me to accept the callous judgmental side of Naranjo that seemed to emerge later when his role as the person who carried the Enneagram into the northern hemisphere was swept away first by the multiplicity of trainings that began to appear as early as 1980 and then in the flood of books, almost 150 by 1990.


After some period, I cannot fix a date to his reemergence as an Enneagram teacher, he turned on people who had been members of the group, especially people whom he felt had divulged his papers to Palmer and the Jesuits who had worked with Ochs. His position was that his descriptions of the fixations were somehow the only correct ones. He said to me on several occasions about Palmer had “watered it down” and some others whose knowledge of the system could be traced to Ochs just mistyped people. 


I joined a fairly large number of SAT people who began working with Henry Korman, a Fourth Way teacher whom Naranjo introduced to the group. Naranjo seemed to want us to have some avenues open to continue the Work, but it was not a clean ending. I would continue with Korman for 3 more years, but there was always some feeling of nostalgia. We had witnessed and participated in a spiritual revolution. I quote Hunter S. Thompson reflecting on the San Francisco of the late 60’s, “…with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”