I have an older male friend in the US who has recently begun to dress as a woman. He says that when he first discovered that he felt more comfortable in feminine clothing, “‘non binary’ wasn’t a known choice, not even to the experts. I had to wait until the language and the culture brought to my attention that there is actually a non-binary spectrum of gender identities.” Personal expression when it comes to “non-conforming expressions of sexuality” is tied up with language and culture.
Times are changing.
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| Garment: Bloni ; Model: Rohan |
I just had a conversation with an Indian friend who is a clothing designer. In the latest Paris fashion week, the Indian brand he works for introduced a whole collection of garments that are “gender neutral” or “non-binary.” What the public hears is that they can be worn comfortably by both men and women; there’s a refusal of any obligation for the women models to wear skirts and men to wear pants, but it goes deeper--the whole cut, the “look” attempts to be gender neutral. It was very interesting, and there were some really great outfits. It was extremely well received. After Paris they showed at the Lakme fashion week, won an award, and were sponsored by NEXA. I don’t think that we’re going to see them on the rack at Nordstrom’s yet, but the head designer has been interviewed on India TV. In English. I don’t think that the exclusively Hindi-speaking audience would be very receptive, and that’s where I’m going.
In Indian culture sexual roles and behavior seem very defined. The exception proves the rule. The class or caste known as Hijra is now legally recognized as an official third sex. They are men who live and dress as women. They include gay men, straight cross-dressers, and trans-sexuals. They tend to live in distinct communities and are restricted in terms of where and how they interact with strict gender based culture. They are called on for some ritual observances in the Temples, even weddings--I don’t know much about that, but Hijra are still discriminated against. Now that there is a legal definition of a third sex, they are afforded some protection against physical violence and exploitation. That has not always been so, and in the general society, any expression of gender fluidity can still be dangerous.
Last night we had another friend from the design college over for dinner. On the scale of gender fluidity, he tends towards what is culturally defined as feminine, but he identifies as a man. With no fanfare, he is just who he is, and he is making a career for himself in an industry which is perhaps more tolerant of sexual diversity than most in Indian society. I really like him. He makes no apology. His clothing and makeup choices fit him perfectly. He comes from a single parent household, and his mother is very accepting.
But there are problems with his personal safety. The design college (and my home) are in a conservative rural community. He has to drive himself all the time because cab drivers have demanded sex, shopkeepers, guys he runs into on the street, same unwanted demands for sex. This is an obvious problem. Here, if he reported a problem to the police, I’m sure they would side with the assailant.
Our friend left early to go back to pack. He just finished his exams. It’s his last semester in college, and he is moving. In Delhi there are hip areas where he doesn’t have to hide or be afraid. It's not the Castro of the early 70's, but there are some of that vibe.
Despite all the problems with the assault on same sex relationships now in the US, there are certain advantages to living in a more liberal society with legal protections.
