I am writing from McLeod Ganj in Northern India. My perspective is Zen, Buddhist, agnostic Christian and adamantly Jesuitical. My posts are not intended to convince you of anything. Please, make up your own damn mind!
Monday, December 12, 2022
My friendship with an Anglo-Catholic Bishop
Friday, December 2, 2022
Sister Jacinta, the Reality of Women Priests
We’ve all known women priests. I am not talking about priests who attend to mysterious rites, holdovers from the ancient Roman cults that Christians adopted as they went mainstream, tripping over the anachronistic relics of a medieval culture of monarchy, lapdog aristocrats, retainers and hangers-on, making decisions from a privileged position. I am thinking more of women who’ve always done the holy work of following Jesus, holding congregations together, and performing the simple ceremonies that remind all of us about the obligations of faith.
When Sister Jacinta got off the bus, we knew the day’s difficult work had begun. She was always prompt. I think it was the 55 that dropped her a half a block from “The Center,” formerly “The Center for Spiritual Services.” It had been founded by two of the first Brothers of Charity in the US, a congregation for men founded by Mother Theresa of Calcutta. One of the founders was a gay man who decided to leave religious life as he got more in touch with his sexuality, and with that, the Mother cut her ties with the project.
But in the mid 90’s, HIV disease had started to wreak destruction in the minority communities, especially African American sex workers and injection drug users in Oakland. The group of religious and lay volunteers who’d been inspired by the original vision decided to try to keep it open. Our congregation was as large as most urban parishes, 200-300 people. Our work included providing professional support for drug and alcohol treatment, a daycare for the infants and young children of mothers with HIV, some also infected with the disease, transportation to and from doctors appointments, a hearty lunch every day so that clients had at least one good nutritious meal a day, and perhaps the most important part of the work was simply trying to take care of one another, creating the sense of community and friendship that helped people live as they were dealing with was what still at this point in the epidemic most probably an early death.
Jacinta lived in a very modest apartment with three other religious women in the Fruitvale neighborhood. They were members of a small congregation called the Sisters of the Holy Family that had been founded in San Francisco after the Gold Rush. Her habit was a plain dress that she bought off the rack in her neighborhood K-Mart with a simple cross around her neck. She wore a modest religious veil when she traveled, I think as a kind of protection. The bus ran through some of the most dangerous neighborhoods of Oakland. I don’t know for certain, but this was one time that she allowed the outward signs of her religious life to be a protection.
Sister Alice would already be at the front desk with her cheery “Good Morning and God bless you." Alice was the oldest of the nuns, probably in her late 70’s, a member of the Dominican priory probably 20 blocks away in an upscale part of town. She always wore her full habit. She didn’t do much else but welcome everyone. Unassuming and sincere, she definitely set the tone for our work.
Another nun, a large jovial no nonsense woman, ran the day care with an African American grandmother who’d lost two of her children to the disease and was taking care of their children. I don’t remember if Sister Pat wore any identifying garments. I think that she preferred loose sweat pants as she spent most of her day chasing babies with HIV and their slightly older siblings while their mothers did what they could to prolong their lives.
It didn’t take me long to recognize that Jacinta was the glue that held the place together. There were other people doing great work. There were two drug counselors, one of whom, an African-American woman was truly masterful. She’d been there and done the hard work of recovery. There was the driver who was as calm as God created a sunset. He was a big African American man with a powerful voice and a ready smile. He was also Catholic. If Jacinta was in the van, he began the trip by asking her, “Would you please offer a prayer for us, Sister.”
By the time Jacinta got into her office, and closed the blinds over the window opening onto the large communal area, there were already 3 to 5 women and occasionally one of the men sitting in chairs waiting to talk. Like confession. Their situation was dire. This is how she spent every morning. She visited every client who was hospitalized which occupied most of her afternoons. At least once or twice a week, she called us into the quiet meditative room and said the simple prayers of a memorial service. She was our priest.
My friend Jon Logan sat on the Center’s Board. He told me to never forget to mention that it was founded by Mother Theresa when I wrote any appeal for money. I followed his lead. Even if that was a stretch, it was true and helped. But it didn’t match the spiritual leadership of Sister Jacinta.
Sister M. Jacinta Fiebig, SHF November 15, 1928 – March 24, 2016
Wednesday, November 30, 2022
Gender fluid clothing
I have an older male friend in the US who has recently begun to dress as a woman. He says that when he first discovered that he felt more comfortable in feminine clothing, “‘non binary’ wasn’t a known choice, not even to the experts. I had to wait until the language and the culture brought to my attention that there is actually a non-binary spectrum of gender identities.” Personal expression when it comes to “non-conforming expressions of sexuality” is tied up with language and culture.
Times are changing.
Garment: Bloni ; Model: Rohan |
I just had a conversation with an Indian friend who is a clothing designer. In the latest Paris fashion week, the Indian brand he works for introduced a whole collection of garments that are “gender neutral” or “non-binary.” What the public hears is that they can be worn comfortably by both men and women; there’s a refusal of any obligation for the women models to wear skirts and men to wear pants, but it goes deeper--the whole cut, the “look” attempts to be gender neutral. It was very interesting, and there were some really great outfits. It was extremely well received. After Paris they showed at the Lakme fashion week, won an award, and were sponsored by NEXA. I don’t think that we’re going to see them on the rack at Nordstrom’s yet, but the head designer has been interviewed on India TV. In English. I don’t think that the exclusively Hindi-speaking audience would be very receptive, and that’s where I’m going.
In Indian culture sexual roles and behavior seem very defined. The exception proves the rule. The class or caste known as Hijra is now legally recognized as an official third sex. They are men who live and dress as women. They include gay men, straight cross-dressers, and trans-sexuals. They tend to live in distinct communities and are restricted in terms of where and how they interact with strict gender based culture. They are called on for some ritual observances in the Temples, even weddings--I don’t know much about that, but Hijra are still discriminated against. Now that there is a legal definition of a third sex, they are afforded some protection against physical violence and exploitation. That has not always been so, and in the general society, any expression of gender fluidity can still be dangerous.
Last night we had another friend from the design college over for dinner. On the scale of gender fluidity, he tends towards what is culturally defined as feminine, but he identifies as a man. With no fanfare, he is just who he is, and he is making a career for himself in an industry which is perhaps more tolerant of sexual diversity than most in Indian society. I really like him. He makes no apology. His clothing and makeup choices fit him perfectly. He comes from a single parent household, and his mother is very accepting.
But there are problems with his personal safety. The design college (and my home) are in a conservative rural community. He has to drive himself all the time because cab drivers have demanded sex, shopkeepers, guys he runs into on the street, same unwanted demands for sex. This is an obvious problem. Here, if he reported a problem to the police, I’m sure they would side with the assailant.
Our friend left early to go back to pack. He just finished his exams. It’s his last semester in college, and he is moving. In Delhi there are hip areas where he doesn’t have to hide or be afraid. It's not the Castro of the early 70's, but there are some of that vibe.
Despite all the problems with the assault on same sex relationships now in the US, there are certain advantages to living in a more liberal society with legal protections.
Tuesday, November 22, 2022
Blue Cliff Record Case 22
This is the case of the portion of the commentary that I used for my piece
A Weed Wacking Roshi goes to MassThe Case (Sato)
Xuefeng, instructing the assembly, said, “There's a turtle-nosed snake on the South Mountain.[1]
All of you should look at it carefully!”[2]
Changqing said, “Today in the Zen hall there are many people who have lost their body and life.”[3]
A monk told this to Xuansha,[4]
who said, “Only my Elder Brother Changqing could say something like that.[5]
However, I wouldn't talk like that.”[6]
The monk asked, “What then would you say, Master”?[7]
Xuansha replied, “Why does it have to be 'the South Mountain'?”[8]
Yunmen threw his staff in front of Xuefeng and acted frightened.[9]
[1] "Turtle-nosed": i.e., poisonous. The “South Mountain” [Nanzan] was the place where Xuefeng resided.
[2] Or: "You should have a good look at it" (Sekida); "you people must watch out for it" (Cleary); "All of you had better look out!" (Wick)
[3] Or: “Today in the Zen hall there is a great person who has lost his body and life” (Sato note); "Today, in this temple, there is obviously one man who has lost his life" (Sekida).
[6] Or: "even though he's right, I do not concur" (Cleary); "as for me, I am different" (Sekida).
[9] Or: "made a gesture of fright" (Cleary); "gave the appearance of being afraid" (Wick).
The portions of the text of Yuanwu’s Commentary (Cleary) that I used for my own commentary:
[Hsueh] Feng went on. “Later when I got to Te Shan I asked. ‘Do I have a part in the affair of the most ancient sect, or not?’ Shan struck me a blow of his staff and said,’What are you saying?’At that time it was like the bottom of the bucket dropping out for me.” Thereupon Yen T’ou shouted and said, “Haven’t you heard it said that what comes in through the gate is not the family jewels?” Feng said, “Then what should I do?” T’ou said, “In the future, if you want to propagate the great teaching, let each point flow out from your own breast, to come out and cover heaven and earth for me.”
(He was greatly enlightened etc.Feng goes back and lives at Elephant Bone Mountain, and writes a poem that comes down to us. At this point I will return to the commentary)
Usually Hsueh Feng would go up into the hall and teach the assembly by saying, “In every respect cover heaven and earth.” He talked no more of mystery and marvel, not did he speak of mind and nature. He appeared strikingly alone, like a great fiery mass. . . . “
(Skipping ahead through several bouts of drinking tea and getting whacked, we move onto what Hsueh Tou’s disciple has to say about the matter going back to their root teacher Yun Men.)
You must be a master snake handler.
“How many lose their bodies and their lives?” This praises Ch’ang Ch’ing’s saying, “In the hall today there certainly are people who lose their bodies and lives.” To get here, first you must be thoroughly versed in snake handling.
Hsueh Tou is descended from Yun Men, so he brushes the others away at once and just keeps one, Yun Men: Hsueh Tou says “Shao Yang knows, again he searches the weeds.” Since Yun Men knew the meaning of Hsueh Feng’s saying, “On South Mountain there’s a turtle-nosed snake,” therefore “Again he searches through the weeds.”
After Hsueh Tou has taken his verse this far, he still has more marvels. He says, “South, north, east, west, no place to search.” You tell me where the snake is. “Suddenly he trusts his staff.”
From the beginning the snake has been right here. But you must not then go to the staff for sustenance. Yun Men took his staff and threw it down in front of Hsueh Feng, making a gesture of fright. Thus Yun Men used his staff as the turtle-nosed snake. Once, though, he said, “The staff changed into a dragon and has swallowed the universe; where are the mountains, rivers and the great earth to be found?” Just this one staff--sometimes it’s a dragon, sometimes it’s a snake.
(Then some detailed snake handling instructions.)
Since ancient times, how many people have picked up the snake and played with it?